Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Summer

It has almost been a year since my departure from Germany. I feel like I just got back. Its strange to hear myself say that its almost been 12 months since my return when people ask me about it. I am still going through a lot of the same feelings I get every time I travel. How does one move on? During that specific moment of my life everything revolved around my time spent in Europe, from arrival to return. Now that I have had enough space to distance myself from that point it almost feels awkward.

I did something really selfish/hilarious/horribly unmoral. I recently went to a bar and ran into a very good looking girl from High school.I actually used to be her TA, but that is irrelevant. She was younger than me and had heard that I left to do a fair amount of traveling. The conversation went as such:
"Hey! Oh my god! I hear you went and did a bunch of work with people with AIDs in Africa!"

"Uh.....well..."

"I think that's so cool. You're such a great guy to do that..."

".....Yes, I am. It was pretty hard, but I'm better for it."

(awesome night ensues)


Yea....pretty bad right? It was actually my brother who did the work with needy people in Africa, but he is too morally gifted to take advantage of that. Rightfully so. Apparently, I'm not? I did teach kids English? That's giving something back too! Right?

What I thought were growing feelings of anxiety in regards to moving back to Waterloo are now showing themselves to be growing feelings of indifference. I was worried that I wouldn't fit back into the way things were, only to realize that I don't really have a desire to go back to the way things were. It would be like trying to play chess with checkers. The board and pieces are the same, but the game has matured and changed. What once was, is now more complex and different.

This doesn't mean I am not excited to move down though. I am ready for round 2. No screw ups this time.

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