Wednesday, January 28, 2009


**Note: Grab yourself a snack, because this is a big post**

Today was a horribly queer day. Sometimes, I have these days where upon returning home I feel the need to clean. That is how you know that something wrong happened to me that day. When I came home today, I washed every dish in the house and I had already done all of mine yesterday.

My day began with me receiving my first essay of the semester back. Most people in the class did quite poorly, but my grammar (it's a German language class) was so dismal that the professor made a point of personally mocking me in class. My professor likes me and her way of showing it is by making fun of me. Usually, I am okay with it because she gets me on silly little mistakes. This time it was the equivalent to your professor saying, "Oh man, did you ever fuck up on that midterm! I mean, seriously, that was just hilarious! I made up a new category of bad, just so I could fit you in there!"

She then made me sit in front of the entire class and answer questions like a game show. I kid you not. I was almost ready to tell her to "selbstficken", but I just gobbled up the proverbial plate of self-deprecation that was handed to me with a smile on my face. Such is life.

After class, I got on my beloved bus and headed downtown to have coffee with my cousin. That is when I met the crab man. I should mention that I have this thing with strangers. Call it what you may, I have an undeniable magnetism for the "Uncouth". If I am standing on a subway platform with hundreds of people and a weirdo shows up, I am always the first person to get the inevitable blast of abnormality. I think this is because I refuse to ignore people if they try to engage me in conversation, no matter how strange they may seem.

Crab man came onto the bus a stop after mine. He was short, had a large belly and a poorly shaved head that was most likely done quickly by himself in front of one of those mirrors you find in a carnival fun house. What made him stand out was the fact that he was holding what I would later find out to be a large blue crab.

Crab man picked a seat beside me and then just launched right into it. I didn't even have a chance to try and do the ol' "I'm listening to music" spiel. He showed me his crab. He had bred it and given it to his son as a pet. After it died, he took the little guy taxidermist.

He then proceeded to tell me about himself. He was born in New York as a son to an Italian mobster. He decided at a young age to move to the edges of Newfoundland, where he could be free from his family ties and raise as many crabs as he saw fit. After meeting his girlfriend, a 6'7 First Nations woman, he had a son and moved to Ontario. He also brought along his favourite hermit crab, aptly named Hermit, and mentioned that it just happened to also be Hermit's 20th birthday. I was naturally skeptical, but after researching a bit I found that it is quite common for them to live up to 25 years.

I thought about my conversation with Crab man as I sat waiting for my cousin in a coffee shop. Before I got off the bus, he made a comment about how everyone else on the bus was acting so odd. I thought at first that they had a good reason too. I mean, the guy got his pet crab taxidermied. I later realized he was talking about the fact that everyone seemed to be uncomfortable around us. Some people got up and moved farther back in the bus once they had a chance.

I thought about the possibility that we were the weird ones. I mean he just wanted to talk to someone and we went out of our way, for no reason, to avoid him. Is that not weird? He was talking about crustations, not murder. Comepletely harmless.

Then I realized that it was Wenesday and I am not supposed to meet with my cousin until Thursday. Fantastic.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


There are certain things that everyone does when they are in a bad mood. Some people like to talk to their friends or listen to uplifting music. Others prefer to wallow in their own self-pity until they feel better. Me? I like to eat pickles.

What you see here, ladies and gentlemen, are various assortment of Strubs. Arguably, the solution to pretty much everything. Need a quick snack? Strubs. What to serve the guest? Stubs. How to get Israelis and Palestinians at the peace table? Don't worry, they're kosher.

As I said before, I eat pickles when I am depressed. I used to try writing poetry, but then I realized that I would just end up writing a short summary of my pain in a form that rhymes. The pathetic hilarity of my bad form did not encourage a very soul soothing process. However, it was better than what I used to do before that, which was just listen to Joni Mitchel until I got tired of crying uncontrollably for no reason. Just kidding. No seriously.

I needed cheering up today as I was in a bit of a pickle (I'm really sorry, I've been looking to put that in here somewhere for some time now. Forgive me). I recently lost my social insurance card, needless to say, it turned out to be a huge pain in the ass to try and get a new one. First off, the Human Resource office, where one has to wait in line to be served, is in the next town over. It's a 45 min walk.

Secondly, it was recently merged with the unemployment office and as such the line twisted the whole waiting area and just stopped short of the door. Stupid depression. After waiting about an hour to get to the admissions desk, just the desk that gives the forms that you need to fill out, not takes mind you, I find out that you can only use your birth certificate for ID. Driver's license or passport? Nope, not good enough for a SIN card!

I took some time to literally stomp around the block before I went home. I find acting childish in public is a good way to visibly vent my frustration to people. It makes me feel tired and I don't have to feel guilty for swearing uncontrollably. Even better than that is to go home and snack on comfort food.

My future soulmate should hopefully have a strong desire to learn the art of pickling.

Friday, January 23, 2009


So I finally went to a gym yesterday. I did a rudimentary workout routine and nothing that was too stressful. Why then, does my body feel like it's been beaten by a football team. Everything hurts. It hurts to sit. I guess that is what I get for not stretching?

I have to take the bus home today. I am not looking forward to the long journey. As I said earlier, I love the bus, but I am sore and grumpy so spending 4 hours traveling is not looking all that appealing. Oh well, I am going home to be spoiled by loving parents. I'm a lucky guy.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

mit dem Bus

The last few days have been made so much better by the amazing mode of public transportation that we call the bus. I have always held a deep love for public transportation, but not specifically for the typical reasons. Saving money and the environment are bonuses, but I find that my favourite part of the whole experience comes from complete sense of helplessness.

It's like the weight of the world is taken off of my shoulders for a few stops. When I am packed between all of those other people, in that moment, I am free from the subbtle palpitations of responsibility and stress. There is nothing I can do about my problems, nothing I can possibly change in that instant about my life. So why bother worrying about it? Everything fades away into the passing scenery of wherever I happen to be on my way to.

It's the same feeling I get when I blog, when I finish an exam, or when I'm in the back seat of a car and my parents are sitting up front. It's what I feel when I come out of a funeral, see I place I've lived in for the last time or listen to my favourite song Starálfur. Such a wonderful sense of melancholy tranquility. I say melancholy because that rich textured feeling seems to dissipate not one block after I get off.

I also seem to have the best conversations on trains or buses. Yesterday, I went down to Kitchener with Lisa Farlow to drop off my deposit for the house I'll be living in next year. Lisa is hilarious, I haven't talked about so many random topics and for so long in ages. Next year should be good. Lisa and I will be living with some relatively like minded people.

It's a known that babies tend to fall asleep in vehichles, apparently due to the motion. Maybe they have something on us?

Monday, January 19, 2009


Dear January,

Why do you suck so badly? On a scale of good to bad, you'd most likely be stuck right between falling into a barrel of rusty nails and finding out that your favourite snack is being taken off the shelves due to their newly discovered carcinogenic flavoring.

I know that seems a little harsh, but its true. Your attitude pretty much blows when compared to other months. Your weather is cold and harsh, everyone runs out of money, parties are at an all time low, no holidays, and you are pretty much only second to your little brother February when it comes to being a general downer.

What can you do to change this? First, stop being so cold. When I walked to class today it was -18c and that was without the windchill. Seriously, what the hell? Do I go around stuffing people into a goddamn freezer when I want them to like me? No. What do you see in this picture outside my house?

If you've answered too much frigging snow, you win a prize. Congrats.

Secondly, way more holidays. December is always going to be number one unless you do something about it. New Year's Eve, unfortunately, does not count. That is still December's territory in my opinion. It's like we have to hang out with that kid who puts his hand up in lectures and nags us about hangovers (that's you) after we've just been to the wildest party of our lives. Even February has "Family Day", the weakest excuse for a holiday since they've been conceived. Might I suggest a holiday in which large amounts of money are given to students.

Lastly, please cheer up. There is still hope. You can be cool. I believe in you. Screw the other months, they only got where they are today by sleeping with the good seasons.

Thanks for your time,

Concerned Student

Sunday, January 18, 2009

The End of Busy, the Start of Stress

Well, my week of jam packed adventure is over. There is something about a Sunday that is completely relaxing, yet at the same time full of anxiety. This has been of week of joy and sadness, relaxing times and times of not enough time.
This week was concluded with an excellent early morning breakfast among friends. Hopefully, a new social group in general. These are people I hopefully will be spending more time with this semester.

Even though I am busy with school, I am looking to plug myself in more with a few different communities. Especially the blogging community! I swear that I am going to learn HTML, even if it kills me...haha. Now that I've seen what is out there I want to be able to express myself better aesthetically in this cyber-world.

The bad thing about having fun, especially on the weekends, is the fact that you are not getting any work done whilst the party is in process. It it too hard to ask for a job that pays you to sit around and talk with your friends? I mean seriously folks...

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Deep Breath

This past week certainly has been more exciting than many others I've had in the past 6 months. By that I mean that I have barely had a chance to just sit and let my mind wander a bit. This week promises to be more of the same. Its been good though. Mostly.

Last week I started back at school for the first time in almost 2 years. It was scary and invigorating at the same time. I was prepared for this so the shock wasn't that bad, but I am still getting used to having to do homework and the vast amounts of reading, not to mention keeping a much busier social life and working at the same time. Life has shown that it can get a little hectic.

Normally, at this point I would be stressing out. This time, however, I find myself rising to the challenge with a light heart. There are good days and bad, but I know that if I channel this energy of mine into being productive then I can do this. By being more openly productive I am able to see the fruits of my labour, and I like that.

My life feels organized and it allows me to be so much more flexible than I was in the past. Perhaps 'flexible' isn't the right word for it. I'm just able to deal with oncoming issues more efficiently.

I went out with Natalie today for lunch and the Barelyworks, that restaurant above the Heuther. It was good to see and talk with her. Our Grandfather just recently passed away and tomorrow is the funeral, so I'll be seeing a bit more of my family this week. She helped me do some shopping for random items and we got her some guitar strings. A nice day.

As for this week coming up, there is a lot to get ready for.

Tomorrow - I have Grandpa's funeral and then work until 2am right afterwards.
Thursday - I promised my roommate Ben that I would go to the Lil' Wayne concernt in Toronto with him. His buddy backed out at the last second, so even though this is not really my type of music, it'll be good to spend some time with him.
Friday- My friends are hosting a party that I have to go to. There is a good chance that I will be living at this house next year. Fingers crossed! Its apparently a much sought after place.
Saturday- My good friend is putting on an art show in Kitchener, so I plan to go to support her.

Yikes! Busy, busy!

Friday, January 02, 2009

New Year

January is now in full swing and in accordance with New Year's tradition I head into 2009 with a new haircut, new coat and some new goals. You should see the coat. It's actually pretty nice. As for the haircut, I'm still undecided at the present. It was nicely done, and for free mind you, by my sister.

Things are going pretty well right now. I was really productive today to the point of feeling really bored once I finished everything I set out to do. Wiped me out to boot. After coffee and finishing my readings, I stopped into work to say hi. Then I had quite a time tracking down a pencil case. After raiding two art shops, various book stores and a tea shoppe, I settled on a paint brush case and a new knowledge of tea (I bought a few samplers).

I am ready to start class. I want it to be here already. Waiting around for a lot of work is something I find particularly frustrating. I wish I could get a jump on it.