Saturday, February 07, 2009


Everyone has that one friend in their group that is known as the "fun killer". Especially, when it comes to things like parties or having friends over. You know that person who is seemingly always behind you at parties commenting to those around you about just how drunk you are? That's one of them. These people usually grow up to be accountants, church elders or fake cops who hand out tickets when you don't pay for public transportation.

I find people like this especially annoying because I am a reactionary fighter. It runs in my family. If you tell me not to do something, I'll do twice as much just to spite you, even if its very obviously a bad idea. Tell me to be quiet and I'm more likely to start screaming your name as loud as I can. I'm sure you can see how this does not go over well when the Fun Gestapo come in.

I am currently having problems with a roommate who used to be my friend. I say "used to" because the only time she talks to be now is to complain about something I am doing. She is an all around Fun Killer. A few weeks ago she woke me up in the morning to ask if I had eaten a piece of bread that was on top of the fridge. I said yes. She then informed me that I took a piece out of the left bag (which was hers) instead of the right bag (which was mine). I said I was sorry, to which she replied "It doesn't matter". Then why the fuck would you wake me up about it? Jesus Christ, help me. My goddamn heart can't keep dealing with these random bouts of rage.

This of course compels me to be actually start doing things I never would have done. Like making sure people only use her bathroom when they come over (she's a massive hypochondriac, so watching her scrub her bathroom every time someone uses it causes me great pleasure). My roommate came home drunk the other day and I made sure he was sick over ever inch of that bathroom.

My problem boils down to what should I do? I feel like talking about this isn't the answer. Mostly because yelling at her would make me feel much, much better. However, if I have a near blood clot the next time she makes a comment about me eating hummus from the wrong tub, I end up looking like a jerk. How can I have the sweet rage-filled justice I crave, but still come off looking like the good guy? Better yet, how do I control my ridiculous overreactions?


Maddie Marie said...

I'm pretty much the same as you. My parents would tell me not to do something and I would do it right in front of them, just for fun. I love seeing the look of disappointment on their faces. They still have that look when they see me.

Sebastian said...

Playing on her hypochondria sounds like your best bet (and by far the most fun).

I always love winding the mildly-psychotic up a bit...

I'm also one of those people that like 'sticking it to the man' when the chance arises. Probably not on the same scale as you though (I wouldn't shout like an idiot, just because I'd been told to stay quiet... I'd probably fake-whisper something incredibly rude, in my deep voice which carries very far...)

So yeah... start messing with her MIND!

My morning coffee is yet to kick in, otherwise I would give you some funny ideas to try out...

Gary Hallman said...

Good to know I'm not the only neurotic person out there.

Maddie- my parents are the same way! Haha, suckers.

Sebastian - if I had a nice deep voice to use, I would be a happier person.

Ambles said...

Just start saying "Does that bother you?" and "Why is that?" a lot. Be a total shrink. She'll either feel closer to you, or start avoiding you altogether. Either way, you won't really have to deal with your own issues if you over-emphasize and focus on hers!

Olga said...

She sounds like the exact type of roommate I've avoided by never having roommates lol. I hope it works out. I would avoid her like the plague and pray she moves out. Or move out myself?

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

Oh, man. Sounds like she wasn't really mad about the bread, but was upset about something else. Too bad she didn't just tell you instead of being passive-aggressive!

Oh, and I'm totally a Fun Gestapo. Like, for real. Not when people are having fun for the sake of fun, but when people are having fun at someone else's expense? Like being loud when someone's sleeping or making a mess that someone else is going to have to clean up? I'm the first one on the scene being a kill-joy. That's just how I roll.

lfar said...

Gary Gary Gary.
For starters I know who you're talking about and of course I am on her side.

But regardless of who it is, you have no idea what she's going through right now! Think about the things going on in her life. Now imagine that's you! Yikes! Instead of trying to relate to or figure out how she's feeling, you're being a jerk and making assumptions. You are not at allllllll putting yourself in her shoes. Seriously. I'm crazy unimpressed by how little perspective you have here.

Even if you honestly can't understand how she feels, you can act like you're NOT six years old. Doing things on purpose like that... you're seriously an ass hole, G! No matter how irrational or illogical her actions might seem to you, its important to realize she's NOT intentionally being irrational and illogical. But even if she was... being childish doesn't help anything.

Me=unimpressed and losing respect.

Gary Hallman said...

Well Lisa, I wouldn't expect you to know everything that is going on right now. Thanks for the compliment.