Truth in Illusion

the end

2009-03-08T13:06:00.002-04:00

I have moved this blog over to wordpress. You can find me now writing here. I figured I'd switch because all the cool kids seem to be doing it and hopefully this will allow me to be a tad more media friendly.

So long blogspot. You've served me well these past few years.

I'm dying

2009-03-04T09:53:00.004-05:00

I have been sick for the past few days. I have just finished my midterms and I have the feeling that I did subpar, even though I studied like a fiend. I've been drafted, my little sister's come down with the pox's and my neighbor ol'man Jenkins finally did what he's been threatening to do for months and poisoned my dog. You get my point. Despite all this, I have had the best week I've yet to experience so far this year. Let me explain.

Like I said earlier I've been sick. Usually, this would be a good thing, because I would have a legitimate reason to skip class and not get marks deducted for attendance. Win-win. However, this week is different because I am trying to woo a professor into taking me under his wing. I am a horrible student. I have had countless teachers, bosses, supervisors and professors give me the whole "if you only applied yourself" speech. It's just not for me. I'm not an academic. What I am can only be described as the world's greatest suck up. Call it what you may, but I leave a school/job with a shining reference after just scraping by. This time it's different.

I expected to flash the ol'smile, say the right things and have this world renowned professor under my finger. No dice. He is one hell of a tricky bastard. He's a cranky old man, who has mastered the art of not giving a shit about anything. I am getting some progress, but he is making me work for it. Me...work...I am dying.

Anyways, doing all this extra work has made me skip on the things I need to do like cleaning my apartment, laundry and buying groceries. I've been using this sick time to wash everything but I had been delaying buying groceries for about a week, and I was getting hungry. Buying groceries scares me. Why? A girl.

There is a girl who works at the grocery store. She goes to the same university that I do and I bump into her all the time. She's a psychology major and quite good looking. I used to go grocery shopping everyday, just so I'd possibly bump into her. I'd buy things that I usually wouldn't if she was there, like whole wheat pasta, expensive cheeses (I'm lactose intolerant) and vegetables like asparagus that would inevitably go bad in my refrigerator. I liked her a lot. We went out for coffee. I had a pretty good time and I think she did too.

Then I did something stupid. Really stupid. On a scale of 1 to 10, it's most likely a 9. I went to a club and ended up going home with her good friend. I know, I'm a bastard. What followed was a super awkward week of dating her friend, which ended with me trying to give her a high-five after I told her we should just be friends. It was the most awkward moment of my life.

As I waltzed down the different areas of the grocery store in my sickness stupor, I decided to forgo my usual healthy choices and went with pizza pockets and pop. I'm an emotional eater. I plopped my stuff down on the counter, looked up and who should be standing there but my girl-crush who I blew it with.

I went to say something smart and witty, but all that came out was "ugh". I grunted at her. What the fuck is wrong with me? After coming to my senses, I apologized for what happened. She tore me a new one. I mean, really tore me a new asshole in front of a line of people. She started crying. New most awkward moment of my life. I took it in stride. I did those things, I deserve it.

As I went to leave, she said the following:

You have my number, so phone it. Screw me over again and I'll kill you.

I think I'm in love.

Focus

2009-02-27T01:49:00.002-05:00

Well it is now two in the morning, so that means that it is officially Friday and my midterm week from hell is over. High note from this week include:

- Seeing an Asian kid have a mental breakdown in the Library and cry hysterically because someone stole his chair.

- Seeing a guy in one of my classes break down and cry in the middle of the exam. (Which might I add was not only sad, but horribly distracting.)

- Gym night from hell. I was at the gym yesterday and I bend down in the change room to tie my shoelaces. Along comes mister "I'm old and could care less if you don't like me walking around ass naked for the duration of your workout". He is strutting his stuff with out a care in the world, when someone tries to squeak by him. Being a gentlemen, he thrusts himself forward so to avoid and make room for this other man. Consequently, he thrust himself right into my face. Yes. That actually happened. A face full of old man. Good lord, even thinking about it is making me gag. This has been a week of tears.

I see only two solutions to all of this, which are to try and either drink the memory away or try and get some sort of counseling.

Side story time. My friends have all been joining online dating websites. It's apparently all the rage now. I, for one, see nothing wrong with this. I blog, twitter, use tumblr and pretty much live on the internet, so why would it be wrong to try and find a date online? I was never keen on the idea of it myself, but after seeing the amazing date my friend somehow managed to get, I decided that there could be no harm in trying it myself.

For my little experiment I decided to go with OkCupid. Everyone I know was using it and its free, so both criteria are met for me. So after uploading a picture, setting my preferences and writing a bit about myself in my profile they made me take a multiple choice test, so as to "narrow the playing field". I answered as honestly as I could.

When I was presented with my first page of best potential matches I was shocked. No joke, 4 out of the 10 women were gay and the rest were bi. What the hell? 40% of the women I'm paired up to talk to don't even find my gender attractive. There were a couple in there in which I would not ever be the least bit suprised if they were, in fact, not women at all. Screw you internet. If I want someone to question my sexuality and make fun of me, I'll go home and hang out with my step-dad.

God, option one is looking better and better the longer this week plays out.

North America

2009-02-19T17:13:00.003-05:00

Today the president of the United States of America came to visit our humble country of Canada. After watching it on the news, while having my teeth ravished by a very good looking Asian dentist, I went to cry in solitude at my local hometown greasy spoon, the Fickle Pickle.

While enjoying my meal I was watching about 10 thousand Canadian people going nuts on Parliament Hill. I have not seen that many crying teens since I was forced to take my sister to see the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants in theaters.

I found this rather amusing as I was present the last time a President came to Ottawa and I can assure you that the mood was less than stellar. Numerous people, including some friends, were arrested and poor GWB was quickly and quietly asked to not knock his ass on the door on the way out.

As I was enjoying my french toast and bad coffee in the FP, the waitress came up to me to ask why it was such a big deal. She went into a rant about all the horrible things that the American's do and how poor Canada would be better off without them. I must admit I used to think this way as well, so I can't really rag on her too much. It's frustrating for a lot of Canadians to have so little input on issues that affect us so greatly. Oh well.

Looking back now I, dare I say it, actually like Americans. A lot. Most of my good friends are Americans and we were brought together in familial love by a common interests, which would be hating just about anyone else. Having lived in Europe at one time, running into an English speaker was like winning the jackpot. Especially Americans. There are so many cultural oddities that we take for granted.

"Oh wow, you speak English?"

"Sure do, I'm Canadian."

"Remember frozen concentrated juice?"

"Fuck yea!"

Trying to explain the idea of frozen essence of juice to anyone not from North America is just idiotic. The longer you go on, the more you feel like an ass. So cheers to Americans.

I still will say that the people closest to my heart will always remain the Dutch and the Kiwis. We're like the smarter, younger brothers who never get any attention because we've got a cooler brother, who's a grade older and has the mustache we've always dreamed of growing.

Happy Obama Day Canada. Enjoy the free love and peace vibes.

This is why I don't go to concerts

2009-02-09T22:52:00.003-05:00

I listen to a lot of music. I don't pay for it. I am one of those guys who remembers what it was like to pay $25 in 1998 for an Offspring cd. $25 in the 90's could have bought me a lifetime's supply of pogs, a Voltron T-shirt and a box full of Vanilla Ice albums.

For years we were ripped off when it came to getting access to our favourtie band's music. The music industry claimed that it was all about supply and demand and there was no harm in making money. Not to mention, the industry offered lots of free access to music, such as MTV. For every moment I had to sit through Billy Ray Cyrus or Whitney Housten music videos just to catch a glimps of the Foo Fighters, I cried tears of frustrations. Enter the internet. I've never looked back since.

People say that downloading hurts the artists. I would say, however, that cheating fans out of their money hurts the artists ever more. Ticketmaster is now the defendent in a $50 million dollar class-action suit. After all of this time spent complaining, the industry and their middlemen can't keep their hands out of the cookie jar.

Ticketmaster has recently recieve hundreds of complaints that when they attempted to purchase tickets online, they were redirected to TicketNow (recently purchased by Ticketmaster) where they were made to pay up to hundreds more than the face value. Those Smashing Pumpkins tickets you paid $500 for? They were only supposed to be $130! Oops! Apparently, Bruce Springsteen is furious.

I pity those poor ticket sellers. As screwed as Universal was when Morpheus first sprouted, that is nothing in comparison to the wrath of the Boss.

Rage

2009-02-07T21:45:00.003-05:00

Everyone has that one friend in their group that is known as the "fun killer". Especially, when it comes to things like parties or having friends over. You know that person who is seemingly always behind you at parties commenting to those around you about just how drunk you are? That's one of them. These people usually grow up to be accountants, church elders or fake cops who hand out tickets when you don't pay for public transportation.

I find people like this especially annoying because I am a reactionary fighter. It runs in my family. If you tell me not to do something, I'll do twice as much just to spite you, even if its very obviously a bad idea. Tell me to be quiet and I'm more likely to start screaming your name as loud as I can. I'm sure you can see how this does not go over well when the Fun Gestapo come in.

I am currently having problems with a roommate who used to be my friend. I say "used to" because the only time she talks to be now is to complain about something I am doing. She is an all around Fun Killer. A few weeks ago she woke me up in the morning to ask if I had eaten a piece of bread that was on top of the fridge. I said yes. She then informed me that I took a piece out of the left bag (which was hers) instead of the right bag (which was mine). I said I was sorry, to which she replied "It doesn't matter". Then why the fuck would you wake me up about it? Jesus Christ, help me. My goddamn heart can't keep dealing with these random bouts of rage.

This of course compels me to be actually start doing things I never would have done. Like making sure people only use her bathroom when they come over (she's a massive hypochondriac, so watching her scrub her bathroom every time someone uses it causes me great pleasure). My roommate came home drunk the other day and I made sure he was sick over ever inch of that bathroom.

My problem boils down to what should I do? I feel like talking about this isn't the answer. Mostly because yelling at her would make me feel much, much better. However, if I have a near blood clot the next time she makes a comment about me eating hummus from the wrong tub, I end up looking like a jerk. How can I have the sweet rage-filled justice I crave, but still come off looking like the good guy? Better yet, how do I control my ridiculous overreactions?

From Them to Me

2009-02-02T21:48:00.010-05:00

I am part of a pretty neat community of bloggers called Twenty Something Bloggers. Please check it out if you can. Most, if not all of the people, who read this blog are already included in this little niche of the internet.

Every so often they have a few blogging contests and this month's, in honour of Valentine's Day, is creating a love letter or a break-up letter. As I was thinking to myself about topics, I wondered what it would be like to write a break-up letter to myself from the perspective of every woman I've ever dated. Who else has given me the best material for this, if not them?

This is my first attempt at audio stuff, so be gentle. Until I figure out where to find a decent audio widget that is supported by Blogger, you'll have to download it. The music is by RJD2, one of my favourite artists.

An Interesting Experiment

2009-02-01T20:03:00.003-05:00

I recently had a conversation with one of my friends on the art of flirting. I was intrigued to find out that there is actually a supposed science to it. We've both did a bit of research and are going to try to use some of the proscribed techniques and note some of the signs. Apparently, 97% of all human communication is done through body language and around 52 different subconscious things we do to indicate interest in the opposite sex.

A few of the tips:

* put your thumbs in your pockets and arch your fingers towards you legs. It forces you into a straight posture, sticks your chest out and apparently makes you look more "fit".
* look for mirroring. If people find you attractive, they'll usually subconsciously mirror your actions (such as taking a drink when you do).
* prolonged eye contact (that's a given)

As I mentioned earlier, we are to try our best to remember these "tips" and go out of our way to flirt as much as we can for 1 week and see how it works, the catch being we have to talk as little as possible and just try the body language. We started last Thursday and so far the results are astoundingly good. I use them everywhere and I am amazed at the positive feedback I am getting from women.

I recently went to a party this weekend and I figured it would be opportunity to try this out in a social setting. I was amazed.

step 1 - make sure I was walking into the room with my thumbs in my pockets.
step 2 - look for women who seemed to be "grooming" themselves. Straightening cloths, hair, etc.
step 3- make eye contact and don't break until they do
step 4- contact. Make sure their whole body is facing you, watch for mirroring, if they're sticking their necks out, or showing their palms.
step 5 - whispering is good.
step 6- enjoy.

It worked pretty darn well. My friend is apparently getting similar results. He was just telling me how he tried it while in a Subway while getting lunch. He said maybe 20 words and left with a free meal and a phone number. That's not too shabby.

Tomorrow is the first day we'll be trying it on campus. I'm excited to try it out! Who knew science could be so fun?

Crabby

2009-01-28T15:02:00.003-05:00

**Note: Grab yourself a snack, because this is a big post**

Today was a horribly queer day. Sometimes, I have these days where upon returning home I feel the need to clean. That is how you know that something wrong happened to me that day. When I came home today, I washed every dish in the house and I had already done all of mine yesterday.

My day began with me receiving my first essay of the semester back. Most people in the class did quite poorly, but my grammar (it's a German language class) was so dismal that the professor made a point of personally mocking me in class. My professor likes me and her way of showing it is by making fun of me. Usually, I am okay with it because she gets me on silly little mistakes. This time it was the equivalent to your professor saying, "Oh man, did you ever fuck up on that midterm! I mean, seriously, that was just hilarious! I made up a new category of bad, just so I could fit you in there!"

She then made me sit in front of the entire class and answer questions like a game show. I kid you not. I was almost ready to tell her to "selbstficken", but I just gobbled up the proverbial plate of self-deprecation that was handed to me with a smile on my face. Such is life.

After class, I got on my beloved bus and headed downtown to have coffee with my cousin. That is when I met the crab man. I should mention that I have this thing with strangers. Call it what you may, I have an undeniable magnetism for the "Uncouth". If I am standing on a subway platform with hundreds of people and a weirdo shows up, I am always the first person to get the inevitable blast of abnormality. I think this is because I refuse to ignore people if they try to engage me in conversation, no matter how strange they may seem.

Crab man came onto the bus a stop after mine. He was short, had a large belly and a poorly shaved head that was most likely done quickly by himself in front of one of those mirrors you find in a carnival fun house. What made him stand out was the fact that he was holding what I would later find out to be a large blue crab.

Crab man picked a seat beside me and then just launched right into it. I didn't even have a chance to try and do the ol' "I'm listening to music" spiel. He showed me his crab. He had bred it and given it to his son as a pet. After it died, he took the little guy taxidermist.

He then proceeded to tell me about himself. He was born in New York as a son to an Italian mobster. He decided at a young age to move to the edges of Newfoundland, where he could be free from his family ties and raise as many crabs as he saw fit. After meeting his girlfriend, a 6'7 First Nations woman, he had a son and moved to Ontario. He also brought along his favourite hermit crab, aptly named Hermit, and mentioned that it just happened to also be Hermit's 20th birthday. I was naturally skeptical, but after researching a bit I found that it is quite common for them to live up to 25 years.

I thought about my conversation with Crab man as I sat waiting for my cousin in a coffee shop. Before I got off the bus, he made a comment about how everyone else on the bus was acting so odd. I thought at first that they had a good reason too. I mean, the guy got his pet crab taxidermied. I later realized he was talking about the fact that everyone seemed to be uncomfortable around us. Some people got up and moved farther back in the bus once they had a chance.

I thought about the possibility that we were the weird ones. I mean he just wanted to talk to someone and we went out of our way, for no reason, to avoid him. Is that not weird? He was talking about crustations, not murder. Comepletely harmless.

Then I realized that it was Wenesday and I am not supposed to meet with my cousin until Thursday. Fantastic.

Strubs

2009-01-27T23:09:00.004-05:00

There are certain things that everyone does when they are in a bad mood. Some people like to talk to their friends or listen to uplifting music. Others prefer to wallow in their own self-pity until they feel better. Me? I like to eat pickles.

What you see here, ladies and gentlemen, are various assortment of Strubs. Arguably, the solution to pretty much everything. Need a quick snack? Strubs. What to serve the guest? Stubs. How to get Israelis and Palestinians at the peace table? Don't worry, they're kosher.

As I said before, I eat pickles when I am depressed. I used to try writing poetry, but then I realized that I would just end up writing a short summary of my pain in a form that rhymes. The pathetic hilarity of my bad form did not encourage a very soul soothing process. However, it was better than what I used to do before that, which was just listen to Joni Mitchel until I got tired of crying uncontrollably for no reason. Just kidding. No seriously.

I needed cheering up today as I was in a bit of a pickle (I'm really sorry, I've been looking to put that in here somewhere for some time now. Forgive me). I recently lost my social insurance card, needless to say, it turned out to be a huge pain in the ass to try and get a new one. First off, the Human Resource office, where one has to wait in line to be served, is in the next town over. It's a 45 min walk.

Secondly, it was recently merged with the unemployment office and as such the line twisted the whole waiting area and just stopped short of the door. Stupid depression. After waiting about an hour to get to the admissions desk, just the desk that gives the forms that you need to fill out, not takes mind you, I find out that you can only use your birth certificate for ID. Driver's license or passport? Nope, not good enough for a SIN card!

I took some time to literally stomp around the block before I went home. I find acting childish in public is a good way to visibly vent my frustration to people. It makes me feel tired and I don't have to feel guilty for swearing uncontrollably. Even better than that is to go home and snack on comfort food.

My future soulmate should hopefully have a strong desire to learn the art of pickling.

Sore

2009-01-23T12:27:00.002-05:00

So I finally went to a gym yesterday. I did a rudimentary workout routine and nothing that was too stressful. Why then, does my body feel like it's been beaten by a football team. Everything hurts. It hurts to sit. I guess that is what I get for not stretching?

I have to take the bus home today. I am not looking forward to the long journey. As I said earlier, I love the bus, but I am sore and grumpy so spending 4 hours traveling is not looking all that appealing. Oh well, I am going home to be spoiled by loving parents. I'm a lucky guy.

mit dem Bus

2009-01-21T19:07:00.002-05:00

The last few days have been made so much better by the amazing mode of public transportation that we call the bus. I have always held a deep love for public transportation, but not specifically for the typical reasons. Saving money and the environment are bonuses, but I find that my favourite part of the whole experience comes from complete sense of helplessness.

It's like the weight of the world is taken off of my shoulders for a few stops. When I am packed between all of those other people, in that moment, I am free from the subbtle palpitations of responsibility and stress. There is nothing I can do about my problems, nothing I can possibly change in that instant about my life. So why bother worrying about it? Everything fades away into the passing scenery of wherever I happen to be on my way to.

It's the same feeling I get when I blog, when I finish an exam, or when I'm in the back seat of a car and my parents are sitting up front. It's what I feel when I come out of a funeral, see I place I've lived in for the last time or listen to my favourite song Starálfur. Such a wonderful sense of melancholy tranquility. I say melancholy because that rich textured feeling seems to dissipate not one block after I get off.

I also seem to have the best conversations on trains or buses. Yesterday, I went down to Kitchener with Lisa Farlow to drop off my deposit for the house I'll be living in next year. Lisa is hilarious, I haven't talked about so many random topics and for so long in ages. Next year should be good. Lisa and I will be living with some relatively like minded people.

It's a known that babies tend to fall asleep in vehichles, apparently due to the motion. Maybe they have something on us?

January

2009-01-19T17:18:00.008-05:00

Dear January,

Why do you suck so badly? On a scale of good to bad, you'd most likely be stuck right between falling into a barrel of rusty nails and finding out that your favourite snack is being taken off the shelves due to their newly discovered carcinogenic flavoring.

I know that seems a little harsh, but its true. Your attitude pretty much blows when compared to other months. Your weather is cold and harsh, everyone runs out of money, parties are at an all time low, no holidays, and you are pretty much only second to your little brother February when it comes to being a general downer.

What can you do to change this? First, stop being so cold. When I walked to class today it was -18c and that was without the windchill. Seriously, what the hell? Do I go around stuffing people into a goddamn freezer when I want them to like me? No. What do you see in this picture outside my house?

If you've answered too much frigging snow, you win a prize. Congrats.

Secondly, way more holidays. December is always going to be number one unless you do something about it. New Year's Eve, unfortunately, does not count. That is still December's territory in my opinion. It's like we have to hang out with that kid who puts his hand up in lectures and nags us about hangovers (that's you) after we've just been to the wildest party of our lives. Even February has "Family Day", the weakest excuse for a holiday since they've been conceived. Might I suggest a holiday in which large amounts of money are given to students.

Lastly, please cheer up. There is still hope. You can be cool. I believe in you. Screw the other months, they only got where they are today by sleeping with the good seasons.

Thanks for your time,

Concerned Student

The End of Busy, the Start of Stress

2009-01-18T11:39:00.001-05:00

Well, my week of jam packed adventure is over. There is something about a Sunday that is completely relaxing, yet at the same time full of anxiety. This has been of week of joy and sadness, relaxing times and times of not enough time.
This week was concluded with an excellent early morning breakfast among friends. Hopefully, a new social group in general. These are people I hopefully will be spending more time with this semester.

Even though I am busy with school, I am looking to plug myself in more with a few different communities. Especially the blogging community! I swear that I am going to learn HTML, even if it kills me...haha. Now that I've seen what is out there I want to be able to express myself better aesthetically in this cyber-world.

The bad thing about having fun, especially on the weekends, is the fact that you are not getting any work done whilst the party is in process. It it too hard to ask for a job that pays you to sit around and talk with your friends? I mean seriously folks...

Deep Breath

2009-01-13T16:27:00.000-05:00

This past week certainly has been more exciting than many others I've had in the past 6 months. By that I mean that I have barely had a chance to just sit and let my mind wander a bit. This week promises to be more of the same. Its been good though. Mostly.

Last week I started back at school for the first time in almost 2 years. It was scary and invigorating at the same time. I was prepared for this so the shock wasn't that bad, but I am still getting used to having to do homework and the vast amounts of reading, not to mention keeping a much busier social life and working at the same time. Life has shown that it can get a little hectic.

Normally, at this point I would be stressing out. This time, however, I find myself rising to the challenge with a light heart. There are good days and bad, but I know that if I channel this energy of mine into being productive then I can do this. By being more openly productive I am able to see the fruits of my labour, and I like that.

My life feels organized and it allows me to be so much more flexible than I was in the past. Perhaps 'flexible' isn't the right word for it. I'm just able to deal with oncoming issues more efficiently.

I went out with Natalie today for lunch and the Barelyworks, that restaurant above the Heuther. It was good to see and talk with her. Our Grandfather just recently passed away and tomorrow is the funeral, so I'll be seeing a bit more of my family this week. She helped me do some shopping for random items and we got her some guitar strings. A nice day.

As for this week coming up, there is a lot to get ready for.

Tomorrow - I have Grandpa's funeral and then work until 2am right afterwards.
Thursday - I promised my roommate Ben that I would go to the Lil' Wayne concernt in Toronto with him. His buddy backed out at the last second, so even though this is not really my type of music, it'll be good to spend some time with him.
Friday- My friends are hosting a party that I have to go to. There is a good chance that I will be living at this house next year. Fingers crossed! Its apparently a much sought after place.
Saturday- My good friend is putting on an art show in Kitchener, so I plan to go to support her.

Yikes! Busy, busy!

New Year

2009-01-02T17:15:00.000-05:00

January is now in full swing and in accordance with New Year's tradition I head into 2009 with a new haircut, new coat and some new goals. You should see the coat. It's actually pretty nice. As for the haircut, I'm still undecided at the present. It was nicely done, and for free mind you, by my sister.

Things are going pretty well right now. I was really productive today to the point of feeling really bored once I finished everything I set out to do. Wiped me out to boot. After coffee and finishing my readings, I stopped into work to say hi. Then I had quite a time tracking down a pencil case. After raiding two art shops, various book stores and a tea shoppe, I settled on a paint brush case and a new knowledge of tea (I bought a few samplers).

I am ready to start class. I want it to be here already. Waiting around for a lot of work is something I find particularly frustrating. I wish I could get a jump on it.

Christmas

2008-12-24T14:10:00.000-05:00

Christmas Eve is upon us and like most other people out there I find myself completely exhausted. Spending time with family always makes me tired. We are all pretty high strung people and there is sure to be crazy times once the rest of the family shows up to my parents house for dinner.

I just returned yesterday from my vacation in El Salvador and that is something that must be contributing greatly to said tiredness. That is a story worthy of its own blog(s). I'm going to have to update that later as it was a vacation of crazy adventures, relaxing beaches and drunken honour. Scout's honour to be more accurate. As I said though, more on that later.

Coming back to Canada makes one realize a lot. Like how much snow we have. Stupid, stupid amounts of snow. Are we crazy to be living here? We are among some of the richest people in the entire world and we choose to live in a place that is plagued by really really bad weather.

family just walked in....

Snow

2008-11-25T12:59:00.000-05:00

So time for by bi-monthly post. Winter is now in full effect and I guess that is not so bad. Give it a few weeks and I'll be begging for the warm weather. In fact, I will be heading to a land of sunshine, El Salvador, in just a few weeks. My childhood buddies and I have decided that the time was right to finally make a group trip. I am very excited. I needed to get the travel bug out of me before school hits anyways.

Things are feeling a little less melancholy lately. Work is still going on for the most part, although there is petty conflict, as per usual. People not getting along, spiteful behavior and downright laziness. Myself being guilty of the last one. I keep getting the crappy shifts though, so I don't mind that I only do what is required of me.

So school in now a 100% go. I was billed for courses yesterday so no backing out now old boy. That's right, I am now heading back into debt by another $2,700. Let's hope its a smart investment. I even already purchased a few books so I can do some reading before the semester even starts. Weird, eh?

I've been sick lately, which is never fun. However, I've had a lot of people come to cheer me up in the past few weeks. Both my mom and my dad came by for a visit and my sister and friends from America are coming up on Thursday. So lots to look forward to.

I suddenly had a very odd feeling. I've regained everything that I believed lost. My friends, my status, my desire to do something everything down to my composure. I like who I am in this moment and oddly, its a very odd feeling. Scratch that last comment about not feeling melancholy. Melancholy just came behind me and proverbially punched me in the back of the head.

Screw you "Identity Crisis". I am sick of your bullshit! If you were a woman you'd be Courtney Love. A little bit attractive in the edgy sense, but mostly just gross and pitiful. I am over you.

sleepy

2008-11-06T20:20:00.000-05:00

Lots of deaths this week. Will write more later. Tired. Must...get...to...bed...............

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2008-10-28T18:51:00.000-04:00

I am sitting at home for the first time in almost two months. Its good to be back. I think there must be some sort of odd phenomenon in which people canonize their respective hometowns. The act where you visualize your home as the best place on the planet. The grass is greener, the weather is better, people are nicer and things are a brighter shade of grey here. I am especially guilty of this after I have been traveling for long periods of time or if I have moved to a new city.

Of course, none of the for-mentioned things are actually true. The grass is green wherever you are, when I awoke I could see snowflakes out my window and the waitress gave me cold coffee and stale toast this morning for breakfast. It still tasted like the it was the only proper meal I've had in months.

I met my friend Matt for our ritual "Pickle Slam" this morning. The local greasy spoon has taken on many different names in the past, but the last one, the "Fickle Pickle", seems to have stuck. We discussed the general happenings of Stouffville and what he was up to with school. Never have you met a better friend than Matt. He's most likely the nicest person I have come to know.

Later on I was fooling around and I stumbled onto pictures that my brother took of us when we took a trip around Eastern Europe in 2006. It really made me miss him. He's been living in Norway working on film sets for sometime now and I haven't spoken with him in months. I used to just write that off due to the fact that we are both bad with keeping in contact, but I'm starting to wonder if its not something more.

After my last post I was having some serious thinking sessions about my future. I was feeling really down as I was reading some pretty depressing books. I asked the guy at the bookstore to pick me out some books that would be funny and lift my spirits. I assume he gets his kicks by reading books about people that have some sort of self-destructive quality that randomly triggers and then they go on some over-the-edge life changing spree. What I've learned is that those kinds of books are not really all that funny; especially when you can relate to the comically doomed character.

As I went to work that night I found myself having almost a panic attack. I was feeling in a bad mood, so I did what I usually do in that mood and I lied about something horrible that happened to me. I am a sucker for people's sympathy. I crave it like crack. The only problem being my fellow coworkers, as they came in that night with some heavy duty problems of their own.

I told people that my grandfather died of cancer. I was immediately hugged by a waitress who found out that day that her mother had life threatening cancer. This is after her favourite cousin was either stabbed or shot a few days before. And the worst part? My grandfather is actually dying of stomach cancer and won't last for longer than a few weeks.

This was a particular killjoy and I was angry at this girl for stealing what should have been my sweet, boundless sympathy. I tried to up the anti by saying that I had also met my father, who I hadn't seen since I was just a wee child, that particular day and his new evil wife and children were in tow. A different waitress followed by saying she knew how I felt because she recently found out that her long lost father did a similar trick. This, of course, made me feel even worse. So I went out and bought brownies for the three of us and we sat in the corner and ate silently, reveling in our self pity.

As I was outside that same night getting some air, a drunk patron came and stood beside me and lit of a cigarette. This older, large woman looked at me as she took a drag and asked me if I worked in the kitchen. I was wearing a white chef jacket, an apron and black pants and shoes. I nodded. This is the same conversation I have with all customers. Next she would ask me if I was in school, and after that, why I wasn't working to complete my degree.

She, true to the rule of law, asked those very same questions. However, after I responded she looked at me and said, "Good". I was a little shocked.

"I have a son who is 23 years old. He went to school when he was 17 and partied his first two years away. I tried to tell him otherwise, but what could I do? Looking back now, it was obviously a mistake for him to go to school so young. Who the fuck knows what they want when they are 17? Nobody, thats who.

They say some people wake up in the morning and know what they want to do for the rest of their lives. I've never met a person like that. And you never will because they don't exist.

He went back though and I don't view him as a late bloomer, just as someone who is starting to live their life when they should. So don't worry, you'll get there one day when you are ready."

She grabbed me and gave me a big, drunken hug. And I really hugged her back.

The Big Chill

2008-10-24T16:43:00.000-04:00

So warm, happy, fuzzy Fall is gone and cold, wet, lack-of-sunshine Fall is here. I am, to say the least, disillusioned with this new Fall.

There is not too much to update. Work is going on, although I am starting to get annoyed with the lack of work that everyone else seems to feel entitled too. My bosses are taking advantage of my hard work, so lately I have been doing a less than stellar job hoping the might say something. I am getting tired with the monotony of this particular job, even though I like the people there. I would like to find a job with more day hours.

My friends from Stouffville and myself are taking a trip to El Salvador in the winter. December 15ths to the 23rd. Its all paid for by now so there is nothing I can do. I can't afford it, but I figure this will be the only time a trip like this is made. I am excited for it.

Sometime I look back on my life and and think that I've had things pretty hard. I am reading a book that reminded me that things have turned out okay though. In this book the author is telling his girlfriend about this time his mother ate his candy bar as a kid and then she died of cancer. He found it really hard to trust people after that and thinks of his mother as some sort of evil sorcerer. To this his girlfriend replies, "A sorcerer? Just because she ate your candy bar? My mom guzzled rye and beat us. My uncle put his dick in my armpit while I slept. My cousin hid my college acceptance letter until it was too late to reply. Your mother ate your candy bar?"

I know he was trying to be symbolic but it just goes to show how we are quick to blame everyone else for bad things that happen to us, instead of just accepting that bad things happen, regardless of who's fault it is, and moving on.

I worry sometimes that I've become scared of moving on. To move on is to accept that everything that has happened is irrelevant in the present. These are the anchors of our life though. Without all of these moments what defines us? Who are we? To move on is to accept that there is nothing left that we can salvage of our old selves and we must start anew.

This, naturally, brings up a whole other set of fears. "What if I fail again?", being the largest one that comes to mind. Staying stagnate is a clear sign of fear. It scream, "I am afraid of failure". So how does one get over this fear. There is nothing saying that if we try our hardest we will achieve our goals. This is the largest fallacy that western society has ever produce. Not only is there a chance that you could fail again, there is a good chance you will. Perhaps I'm being a little pessimistic though!

Anywho, I am off to work. Hopefully I'll get fired and finish this off later haha.

The Trees are Turning

2008-09-30T14:52:00.000-04:00

Its Fall now and I love it. I know it was "officially" Fall before this, but it looks and feels like it now. I've been in this tiny apartment for over a month now. So far, things are actually going surprisingly well. I really like living in Waterloo now. I have a totally different appreciation for it.

This past week has been nice and slow. I've spent a lot of time working, which usually consists of long nights so I haven't been up to that much. Work has been slow, as per usual, so I took the liberty of getting a Waterloo public library card so I can read to my heart content. Lately I've been rereading a book my naomi klein called "Shock Doctrine". Its a thick read, but the parallels between the Chicago School of rampant free market trade that happened in the Southern cone of South America in the 70's and today's market crisis are really striking. Very interesting.

I'm having problems with smoking. I know its bad for my health and part of me wants to quit because trying to lose weight by running in neigh impossible for a smoker. However, I have this tiny dilemma in that I really like smoking. I smoke a work, after afternoon coffee and after meals and it calms me down. I need a lot of calming these days. Oh well, if its not cancer from cigarettes, its going to be heart attacks from the food. C'est la vie?

In other news, I recently fell in love. I went to an art and music night put on by my friend last week. They had a few really good acts and some very interesting artwork. The second music act was this girl and her band. She was in a little black dress, wailed out some wicked songs and she played the electric guitar. I am in love, take me now. Unfortunately, she's dating the bass guitarist. I can't say for sure, but I have a fairly good idea that he's a douche bag. Don't ask me why, I just know these things. I mean, the bass? Might as well play a board with some brown paper string attached to it. That's how much skill the bass takes. Definitely a douche.

Someone is getting fired today. I feel bad for him, but mostly I feel bad for me because I am going to be there when he gets fired. I am also taking all his old shifts (because I told them they should fire him and give me his shifts). Did I also mention that this guy is really weird? Because he is. Seriously. Him getting fired has nothing, mostly, to do with me.

"The Circle of Life"

2008-09-21T23:38:00.001-04:00

So I'm back where I was when I first started this whole "blog" nonsense. In my room, in Waterloo, a little high. It's taken me a full three years to do one big complete circle. Haha, you just cannot beat that. Before, I would have maybe saw that as a sad thing, but I realize now that its what life should be for me right now. It feels right this time. Its almost as if I am putting on a shoe that seemed too big three years ago but now feels snug.

I think Fall has something to do with calm mood that I've been in the past few weeks. There is something about Autumn that has always spelled new beginnings to me. The smell of burning leaves, the sounds of the new school semester or people that have started to walk briskly, instead of a steady gamble, due to the coming cold. These are all things that I've found very relaxing. Instead of getting energized and high strung of this new season, I tend to slow down and notice how fast everyone else seems to be going.

I've been back in Waterloo for almost a month. I live with 2 guys and 2 girls. The guys our loud and nuts, and the girls are calm and quiet. We are your typical university students. I am not in school, although I wish I was. I've had to settle to work this semester and start in the winter.

I work at a pub called "Failte". Which I think means, "Hello" in Gaelic. I work a 40 hour week from 6-2am most nights. Its has a small kitchen where I work as the cook. Seeing as its an Irish pub, people go there most of the time to drink, not to eat. I read a lot of books at this job. (Which, apparently, is a great way to meet girls. Also, one time a guy asked me if I wanted to come back to his house once I was done work to hang and drink beer. I said no.)

Other than work I mostly spend my time researching music or doing grocery shopping. I've been to a two parties this year.

The first was an Anything But Clothes party. I did the follow:

* Wrapped myself in cardboard and alluminum foil. I want to say it was a suit, but to be honest,

it looked more like a dress. I won first prize for the guys.
* Drank a large amount of Jack Daniels and then played tip cup.
* Went home and then to The Duke to see Dave and Gina. Lots of other people were there.
* For no apparent reason, I decided to have a good cry at this point. Cried at the bar? Check. Cried outside? Check. Cried by a large display of barrels, outside your house? Check. Check. Check. By the way, this was all in front of my good friends, random people, and my still very good looking ex-girlfriend. Oi vey.

The second part I went to this year was a party of a good friend. I had a few drinks and then felt really old because everyone apparently knew my name but I didn't know a single soul because they were all 3-4 years younger than me.

Thus has been my life in Semtember. I'm not exuberently happy. However, I am far from depressed and sad. Which I suppose is the best a man can hope for. I left my home and friends and came back to something that was difficult for me to do. I'm proud of myself for doing that and that is what keeps me happy. Along with the excellent roommates, a steady diet of KD and pizza pockets and a few good cries.

Fear and Anger

2008-06-29T20:35:00.001-04:00

What a week this was. For some reason I just feel so horribly alone right now. Not in a depressing way. More like I feel I don't have anyone I can relate to at the moment. It's really just been a week of coming into my own. I am just coming to the realization that some friendships have changed beyond my control.

So you know that whole thing about being indifferent to moving back to waterloo? Ya, that's completely changed to fear now. Everything is different and I'm not sure if I'm going to fit in all that well. All of these questions are zooming through my head. What if I clash too much? What if I just don't get along with people there?

Mostly, I'm just worried about one particular group of people. I used to be friends with these guys and then something bad happened. Partially my fault, partially circumstances out of my control. It was a really hard time in my life and it was because of this that I dropped out of school and took this time to do all of that soul searching elsewhere.

I've visited a few times since that time and I've always had some mixed reactions. Some people apologized to me, some ignored the problem and we've pretended like it never happened, and then some people completely ignored me as if I didn't even exist.

These guys are all friends of my friends and they are still what I would call close. I'm worried about how it will be when I move back. Will they just continue to ignore my existence? Get angry? Will I get angry and do something rash? I have tried to move on from all of this, but I know deep down there is still a fair amount of bitterness and anger left there. How is this all going to pass?

I will always have this memory of a girl I once called a friend walking into a room and she began crying because I was there. Since that time she has avoided me and if we happened to be at the same place she would always make sure she was at opposite ends of the room and it was like she would just refuse to see me. I can't believe how hurtful that is. I'm not sure if I want to willingly walk back into that situation. I know I have to though.

At the same time I just feel as though I am without anyone to turn. I really don't feel comfortable enough with anyone I know to really flesh out and discuss all of my fears. That in itself really bothers me. Part of this whole experience has made me truly unable to trust anyone.
Part of this feeling is also due to the fact that a lot of people I know are getting married. The last friend getting married kind of knocked me off my feet a bit. Everyone is getting so serious so quickly. I really feel like I am falling behind in the great "game of life".

I was talking with a good friend tonight who happens to feel the same way and she reminded me that this is not exactly what most people consider normal.

Anywho, I just needed to get this all out. A good vent is really what I needed. I feel much better.

Angst

2008-06-29T20:35:00.000-04:00

Summer

2008-06-24T13:18:00.001-04:00

It has almost been a year since my departure from Germany. I feel like I just got back. Its strange to hear myself say that its almost been 12 months since my return when people ask me about it. I am still going through a lot of the same feelings I get every time I travel. How does one move on? During that specific moment of my life everything revolved around my time spent in Europe, from arrival to return. Now that I have had enough space to distance myself from that point it almost feels awkward.

I did something really selfish/hilarious/horribly unmoral. I recently went to a bar and ran into a very good looking girl from High school.I actually used to be her TA, but that is irrelevant. She was younger than me and had heard that I left to do a fair amount of traveling. The conversation went as such:

"Hey! Oh my god! I hear you went and did a bunch of work with people with AIDs in Africa!"

"Uh.....well..."

"I think that's so cool. You're such a great guy to do that..."

".....Yes, I am. It was pretty hard, but I'm better for it."

(awesome night ensues)

Yea....pretty bad right? It was actually my brother who did the work with needy people in Africa, but he is too morally gifted to take advantage of that. Rightfully so. Apparently, I'm not? I did teach kids English? That's giving something back too! Right?

What I thought were growing feelings of anxiety in regards to moving back to Waterloo are now showing themselves to be growing feelings of indifference. I was worried that I wouldn't fit back into the way things were, only to realize that I don't really have a desire to go back to the way things were. It would be like trying to play chess with checkers. The board and pieces are the same, but the game has matured and changed. What once was, is now more complex and different.

This doesn't mean I am not excited to move down though. I am ready for round 2. No screw ups this time.

This is how we do from 08' to Infinity

2008-05-29T21:33:00.000-04:00

Souls of Mischief know the lyrics to soothe the heart. I am addicted to the easy going beats.

Lately things have been going well. It seems that I have been in the all too familiar rhythm of "work, eat, sleep". I have had some time lately to hang with my buds from KW and play a little poker. Very cool indeed.

Can I really tell you anything of significance? Things are as the have always been.

And now I will kick and push and kick and push and kick and push and kick and push and coast into bed.

Shitty shit shit

2008-05-13T21:20:00.000-04:00

Today was just one of those shitty days that makes me want to swear my f'ing face right off. I have never been so close to actually fighting someone in my entire life. I'd love to write another rant blog about how my co worker sucks and how unjust everything in my life was today, but I seem to have enough of those already.

Instead of going to the Feist concert tonight I instead came home and had a shower, which always cheers me up at the end of a long day. After that I decided that this was an occasion that called for me to spent a little time and money on pizza and beer. I'm very happy with my choice so far.

I have been repeating my mantra of "the harder the work, the sweeter the reward". I think I might get that tattooed onto my hand. That would be a big help.

Blogging really is the perfect way to let off a little steam.

I've decided to start writing again. This time a little bit more professionally. I'm going to be writing all of my past stories of growing up in stouffville and about my unusual family. Its pretty much a straight rip off of david sadaris, but I figure I should start with a familiar theme and then progress from there.

Another day another dollar

2008-04-15T21:36:00.000-04:00

I started my new job at Betz on monday. Perhaps I should say I started my old job? I am so tired. I am on openings for the first part of spring and it is much harder work than weekly service. I'm looking forward to starting that! All this back breaking hard labour is unbecoming of me. I might actually start to develop some muscles if I'm not careful.

Saturday was my last day at Boston Pizza. The last of Dave Jones and the kitchen and of Mike Mac and our schooner days. They will be fond memories for sure. In honour of my leaving I made sure that Saturday wasn't a night to forget. Actually, I wish now that I did as it was quite a crazy party. Needless to say, I don't think they'll be having me back at Boston Pizza Stouffville for a little while (I danced on the bar). I know what you're thinking and you're right. I am awesome.

I feel bad for only Dave Jones. I really respect him and I suppose its a character flaw of mine that I actually feel devastatingly bad whenever I screw up. I wish I didn't, but I have this amazingly overpowered need to have people think well of me. Whenever someone gets mad or even disappointed in me it sends me into quite a literally crippling depression. Its all I can focus on and all I can think about and I start to be horribly hard on myself. What can I say? I'm a people pleaser but in my own twisted selfish way.

Well I am as the French say, "le tired". So I will bid this post adieu. Sleep tasty.

Moving on and on and on and on and on......

2008-04-07T19:34:00.000-04:00

So I signed and sent in a lease for an apartment in Waterloo for the Fall. It is now set in stone that I am moving down to waterloo regardless of what happens with school. I am actually pretty excited, which is kind of surprising. I was kind of dreading it for a while but now I am looking forward to it. Change of pace is always something to be excited for I suppose.

My last day at Boston Pizza is this Saturday. Thank god. I am looking forward to working outside and enjoying the nice weather that spring has finally brought us.

Don't waste your time or time will waste you

2008-03-30T17:54:00.000-04:00

I am listening to Silversun Pickups at the moment and I do have to say that they are quite awesome. Great indie band with some catchy singles. Check'em out if you get a chance.

Today was, to me anyways, the first true day of spring. The weather was windy but carried a familiar spring essence with it. I went for a walk today with a friend in Pickering along the lake by the nuclear plant. The irony of it was too good to pass up.

I like spring because everything looks so clean. Its really like the new year is starting now. May is around the corner and it seemed like just yesterday that winter was out in full force. Another fresh beginning for another new year of my life. Its all so exciting...haha.

I have become addicted to the BBC documentary "planet earth". What an amazing bunch of videos of the world. Its like when I watch one of them I get a little whiff of that travel smell and I am placated for another few days...haha.

I have also decided to become a tea master. I will brew my own teas. I figured that I've always liked tea, so why not try making a few of my own flavours? In case you are wondering, I have been watching quite a few asian epic movies/tv shows. The most bitching dudes always drink tea. Very noble.

Speaking of which, time for a cup.

It had something to do with a wenesday....

2008-03-19T13:11:00.000-04:00

"If I had eyes in the back of my head, I would have told you that you look good as you walked away". That is one heck of a hilarious pick up line provided to us today by none other than Mr. Jack Johnson. I received his new album a few days ago and I am now giving it a good listen. So far so good.

I don't work until 5pm today so I have had the morning to chill and do my own thing. Oddly enough, I didn't sleep in. Whenever I have the opportunity to sleep in I usually get up bright and early. What did I have to wake up to this morning? A piping hot bowl of pea soup. I need to stop eating weird things. Having been so many places in which breakfast is defined by whatever you have around from the previous day, I now have very few qualms about downing a can of coke and leftover pizza for breakfast. Pea soup, however, was what was available.

On a more personal note, I have now come to the conclusion that I no longer believe in God. Feels weird to be writing that. I agree with the values, the morals and I am still a very big advocate of nonviolence and pacifism, but I just cannot lie and say that I believe in a God who rules over my destiny and everything else. Perhaps its my astounding ability to refuse to let anyone tell me what to do. The very idea of having my life fit someone else's ideals is just something that doesn't sit well with me.

This is a little worrying as I just signed up to be a leader in my churches adults group. I wonder how they are going to take it. I'm thinking that I'm just going to tell them and go cold turkey. I feel bad about it, but its what's healthy I guess.

The Avalanche

2008-03-16T20:43:00.000-04:00

What to say of the past few weeks. Such crazy times as these are hard to blog, as I often find myself short on the actual memories needed to describe the events.

I've been living la vita loca for the past little while and I am glade to say that I have been taking a little break from it. Not so much of a break as I'm not going out every single night. Last night however I did not return home until the bright hour of 7am. That was one heck of a party. One I don't think that I'll I be quick to forget.

I recently attended another party at a friend's place in Port Perry. It was my first visit to the fair town and I have to say that I will definitely need to make a return visit come summer time. We are all clamoring for that beautiful time of year, aren't we? It was a good time and there was plenty of dancing to go around. I am not as young as I used to be, but apparently I can still cut a mean rug.

I am smitten with a girl. She is frigging crazy, but then again, that is my type I suppose. There is not a chance in hell though that anything will become of it. Shade.

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. A time honoured tradition inwhich all peoples of the world come together to get hammered in honour of our Irish compatriots. Well, Slante friends.

Come on State!
Come on Song!
Come on Life!
Come on Road!
Make it right!
Make it noise!

Reflections of a long forgot past

2008-03-03T22:38:00.000-05:00

So I've spent the last hour stalking the blogs of the new Intermenno trainees. All I can say so far is that I hate them. Alright, that was a little harsh. I am jealous of them. They're off on an adventure and I feel as though my adventures have come to an end for the time being. Drives me absolutely crazy sometimes to think that I have spent all that I have to spend in life. I know that isn't the case, far from it actually, but thats how I feel.

I have recently come to the conclusion that I need to grow up. Not a lot, but a little. I feel that I have been purposely keeping myself where I am so that I won't have to face the hard work that I know is soon to come. The thing that has been bothering me though is that keeping myself here is really more work than that which I am avoiding.

So with this realization has come a plethora of arduous tasks. Such as getting a credit card, figuring out my living situation for next term and all of my courses arranged.

I sometimes look at who I am now and who I was 2 years ago and wonder what happened. I'm such a bitter person at times, its almost as if I am completely different. As if that old part of me that was quick to laugh and slow to get angry died a little bit. Is this the way the world will take its toll on me? What if I am 75 one day and I am nothing but a empty husk of what I once was? That prospect scares me greatly.

Spring Time

2008-03-03T16:01:00.001-05:00

Its hard to believe that it's already march! Today was a nice balmy day of 9C. I readily enjoyed walking home in this weather, it helped me calm down a bit. You see, I was in what some might call a bad mood. I called it being "defensive". Anyone who tread on my toes today got a nice blast of "Ode to Gary's Wrath".

Today has been a day of action. I watched American Beauty last night. Whenever I watch that movies I always get the sudden urge to rise up and surprise myself. Oh Kevin Spacey, you are a devilish one aren't you...

Here is to hopefully, a better mood tomorrow.

Cheers

Fruit Punch

2008-02-13T22:40:00.000-05:00

So here is something crazy, I just drank a whole jug of juice. Mmhmm, thats right. 2 liters of delicious punch. I always had a hard time explaining the whole, "juice from concentrate" thing to Europeans. For some reason the very notion of adding water to frozen "essence of juice" has to be seen to be believed.

So the past week has been nice. I called in sick on Saturday and went down to see my friend Matt in Waterloo with my bro Tim. My girlfriend officially hates him as he asked her for some sexy pictures. When she wasn't sure what he was talking about, Tim replied, " You know baby, for the Internet". Needless to say, things did not turn out well.

I was fortunate enough to be treated to a delicious dinner at The Keg this evening by my Grandfather. I like going out with him. He is deaf as all hell, so it is usually just him talking and me listening. Which is nice. He has a lot of good advice to give in a short night.

Talking with him has given me some clarity of mind. Lately I have been feeling a little off kilter for some reason. There has been a lot to decide lately in regards to my future and I have been putting it off. I think perhaps I am finally ready to deal with life, and my life I mean everything that has been encompassing my head for the past 6 months.

Part of me really feels as if I am finally waking up emotionally again. As lame as that must sound, its the truth. I've been hurt so many times in the past few years that I've trained myself to be dead emotionally as a sort of safeguard I suppose. This is the reason I am a total dick to most girls. If one was to ask the female waitresses at my restaurant who they hate the most the answer would most likely be my boss. Then me.

Side Track Time

Sometimes I wonder if people I have been with even remember me. Do they think about me as often as I think about them, or am I just some sort of bad memory that has been forgot about. Push back into the furthest reaches of the subconscious, left as a dried husk of remembrance. A person they will not even mention when mentioning the worst of their bad moments.

I think about every girl I have ever had feelings for. Often. What does that say about me?

End Side Track Time

The thing I like about blogs is I can write what I am thinking. Its like I can see my inner-monologue in written form and suddenly I can see a path way into my mind. A blog is like a mirror into what I am actually thinking. Interesting.

2008-02-12T21:40:00.000-05:00

I am tired and my butt is sore. This is most likely because I have been sitting for quite some time on this seat doing very, very important things. Not playing video games. That would be crazy.

My life today in Haiku form

I really hate my dumb job
I am bored as hell.

Today I made forty pizzas

All right. Time to do something awesome so peace out.

/cookie

2008

2008-01-29T20:13:00.001-05:00

So talk about being a neglectful blogger. I find blogging to be quite like taking out the garbage. Sometimes you straight up do not want to do it, and so we let it sit. Eventually though, if you leave it long enough, it tends to build up to the point where it becomes quite the task to get it all out.

Anywho, here is the skinny. It is now 2008. Happy New Year. I spent the new year in Ottawa with Matt J, my friend from Switzerland Debbie, and and another Intermenno friend Erin. Needless to say it was awesome and a good time was had by all. Debbie made out with an American dude. It was awesome. Matt and I were very interested in these very nice Aussie babes for the majority of the time. Actually, as it would turn out, they were in fact not babes at all, but rather large women. Not that I am that superficial to care.

What am I up to now? Good question. I work at a Boston Pizza in Stouffville. I like a few of the people I work with but I still spend a large portion of the day thinking about not working or somehow wishing I was back in Germany.

I have decided to return back to the University of Waterloo this coming Fall and it looks like I will be living in an apartment with some friends. Part of me is super excited and the other half of me is scared to death. Still a lot to mull over in that department.

I am currently seeing a very nice girl who looks like she'll be a lot of fun. She is young. Very young, but whatever. I have been spending a lot of time with her and she it pretty much amazing. She's going to get me into trouble, I can see it already.

I have the feeling of being supremely unsettled again. I am starting to get that flight feeling. That I just need to take off again and do my own thing. I am not really sure what to do. I sometimes wonder if I will ever follow through and actually complete university or if I'm doomed to be one of those guys who lives in various hostels when I'm 45.

2007-10-30T11:03:00.000-04:00

I've been meaning to do this for the longest time. Everytime I look at it though I know how much energy you have to pour into a post to make it readable, so I don't write one. However, today I find myself with an excess of time and energy.

It's the end of October now and I can finally say that I am back home. It doesn't feel odd or uncouth anymore and I find myself slidding back into the comfortable life I had before I left. I look back at the past year and wonder if it really ever happened. I suppose that happens to one who finds himself transfered from a chaotic life with nonstop stress to a life of relative peace and quite.

I shouldn't say all it peaceful though. A fork in the road is quickly approaching. These are almost the worst of times in life. I know that sooner or later I am going to have to make a decision about what I want to do with my life and where I want to plan roots. The only problem with that is that I have no friggen idea where I should go or what I should do. Every choice has presented me with more than a few daunting challenges. It's funny, deep down I know that I'm just desperatly searching for the easy route but this time there is no easy route. Time to buckle down and do the dirty work.

When did I become such a boring person? Reading some of these past blogs do make me feel old or like I'm about to die or something like that. Meh.

This just in: Update!

2007-09-28T17:43:00.001-04:00

Holy cow its been some time since I last blogged. I've been looking at this sad un-updated webpage for too long, so its about time that someone did something about it.

Things lately have been two things: 1) Very Fun
2) Very Expensive

I am still working at the pool place doing my 45 hours a week. At nights I have been spending it with friends and spending lots of money (this would be the money that I should be giving to pay back my student loans). Here are some highlights of the past little while:

I recently had the most amazing Saturday. I woke up and went to the local greasy spoon for the breakfast special. Around here it's called the "Pickle Slam". There are no actual pickles in the whole deal. After breakfast we went golfing and I didn't do that badly for once! Then we got a few beers and had a wicked cornroast. Very awesome.

I have also been really getting into church life here and I have started to go back to my parent's church (the Olive Branch). There are some really interesting people there and I am very much looking forward to geting deeper into the church circles.

I had a date.

I also met up with my good buddy Jovanna for dinner and a glass of wine last week. I'm actually going back down to see her in about 10 minutes to go out with more friends, Jo included. Very excited about that.

Oh, and who could forget the whirlwind of a weekend that was "Gary Returns to KW". It was awesome to see all of my old buds and we actually went out to a western bar for kareoke (spl?). First and last time for that. The Beastie Boys would have been ashamed of me and let's just leave it at that.

Also, Markham Fair was this weekend. I saw cows and multicoloured chickens. Tre cool.

In the Groove

2007-09-03T08:14:00.000-04:00

Things are certainly different here in Canada. I have now realized that I am back for good and with that realization comes a myriad of feelings. Some good, some bad, all of them confusing.

I am currently working at a pool company in Stouffville, and though it is a far cry from the fulfilling work I was doing in Germany, it pays much, much better. The hours are pretty crazy though. Right now, I’m working at least 10 hours a day. Makes the 20 odds hours a week I worked in Germany look like nothing. Perhaps because that was nothing? No matter.

I recently had some Germans and Rachel and Peggy (people I met in Germany) over at my house for the past couple days. I wish I could have done more with them, but I had to worked everyday. We still went to Toronto a bunch of times and had a few laughs. It was nice to see my buds.

So, I’m back in Stouffville. I have to say that I have changed a lot. I think it took a little time in my home town to make me realize these changes. I feel bad because I have betrayed all of my youthful feelings and the typical attitudes towards going home; I like being home. A lot. Is that a bad thing? Maybe. Isn’t the answer supposed to be, “I can’t wait to leave again” ? I find that when people ask me if I’m looking to go travelling again soon, my answer is always a quick, “heck no”. It’s possible that I’m just tired of travelling for a while? After all, this was a pretty intense year.

There was a point in my youth where I wanted nothing more than to get out of Stouffville, but now I find it’s so nice to be back here with my family and friends. I’m thinking that the teenage-fight-the-man-flame is now, sadly, officially dead. We had a good run. On second though, scratch that, we had a horrible run. A yearning for a middle class normal life and a partially finished, never to be completed, degree in political science begs to differ with my first statement. So much for changing the world.

In other news, I have been reconnecting with a lot of my friends in the past 3 weeks and it has been sehr gut. There have already been lots of geek fests and party times. I’m looking forward to a very quiet fall and winter though. I think I need to do this whole life thing a little slower for a while. Is it possible to do life slower than Altes Lager though? Doesn’t seem possible.

Canada

2007-08-16T17:03:00.000-04:00

So, I'm back in Canada. I've been back for little over a week now and things are going very well. I still miss Europe like crazy, and same goes for all my trainee buddies, but things are actually pretty nice here.

I recently got the perfect job working for a pool company. The job is not that great but the money is pretty decent and the hours are long.

We saw the new trainees heading off to Europe at the airport. In case any of you guys were wondering, we were yelling "Go back now! Frigging run!"

The Final Day

2007-07-30T05:36:00.000-04:00

Today is not only my last day in Altes Lager, but my last day of living in Germany. Writing that down seems so impossible. It still hasn’t hit me yet, I guess.

Keith and crew are returning today and we are then heading off to a BBQ hosted my Ina Albers and family. A nice way to spend my last few moments here.

Tomorrow, I will return to the city of Amsterdam. I am very excited.

The next time I post, I will most likely be in Canada. Odd.

Well, for the record, Germany has been good. There were good and bad times, but I made and I have come out on the other end hopefully a better person.

Dear Europe, thanks for the good time and delicious beers.
-Gary

Baltic Sea

2007-07-30T05:12:00.001-04:00

I've been meaning to post this for a while now. I had another small adventure, this time to the Baltic Sea. It was without doubt one of the best parts of my year in Germany. It was really such an amazing time and the perfect way for me to spend some solitary time to reflect on my year in Deutschland.

Right after writing my last post I realized that I was hot. Very hot. So, naturally, I decided that I should go swimming. Seeing as the German port city of Rostock is only a few hours drive from Altes Lager, I went for it. I packed my things in the little red car and left early in the morning.

Upon arriving I parked my car in a back-lot and then found my way to the HBF. From there I went into the city to enjoy its wonderful architecture. Many port cities have a look all to their own, and this one was no exception. The main square was wonderful and let me all the way down to the harbour.

So I made it to the harbour and I wanted to hit the beach. The logical thing would be to follow the water until it gets to the beach right? Apparently not, as this harbour was huge. It took me forever to get to the beach (4-5 hours), and when I finally got there I realized that there was a subway that went right from the HBF (main train station) to the beach in the first place. Oi vey.

The beach was well worth the wait. The Baltic was everything I thought it would be and then some. It was cold and with a tinge of brown. It you took out the salt, I might have thought that I was back home at the Great Lakes! It was so nice to hit cool water it that hot, hot heat.
I sat on a nice spot in the corner of the beach where one could see two brightly coloured lighthouses. This part of Germany is famous for its lighthouses and it lived up to its name. However, all that amazing spectacular…ness…makes one sleepy, so I had a little nap and was consequently burned quite badly my the sun. Prima.

After a while it started to rain so I headed back to the car to make sure that it was still there. It was, which made me very happy. I changed into some nicer clothes and decided I would go out and enjoy the night life of Rostock.

I went back into the train station to catch the lorry into town, when something odd happened: I had the most massive nose bleed I have ever had in my life. It was like a deluge of blood poring out of my nose. As first, I actually thought it was pretty funny. I looked like I had been punched in the face so I thought I’d see what would happen if I started to moan a bit (there were about 30 other people on the platform staring at me). Well, true to their form, the Germans stoically ignored me.

As I rushed to the bathroom to stop the bleeding, I was unhappy to see that the bathroom was a pay-per-use one. All of my change was in my pocket and my hands were currently covered now in my own blood. I asked if there was anyone in there who could help me and a young guy came out, looked at me, and just said, ‘Shit, you…shit!’. Stunning.

30 minutes later, after I had recomposed myself, I headed into the city and entered a nice little side café. There was a really nice girl there and we started talking and I ended up receiving a free milky cappuccino. It was really nice of her so I didn’t refuse, even though I suffer from severe lactose intolerance. She was really nice, but the rest of my night wasn’t, I had the head-ache from hell later on. So I figured I’d just go back to the car and sleep it off.

The next morning I woke up at around 6:30am. As it turns out, being cheap and trying to safe money by sleeping in your very small car is not as great as it sounds in your head. Never-the-less, I ventured forth to the beach and sat at the lighthouses and ate a small breakfast and had a small coffee. The rest of the morning was spent swimming and walking along the now mostly deserted beach (the rest of the people were very old and very naked swimmers). I also saw seals, which was very awesome.

After walking a long the beach for what must have been 4-5 hours, I went back and had a conversation with some guys I met at a McDonald’s. They told me that they were Danish and lived in a city called Gedyser. I ended up taking a ferry back with them and spent the day being lost in a Danish town. Despite their Artic island stealing tendencies, the Danish are actually pretty nice people.

After coming back I rested for a bit and then ended up driving home to sleep in my bed. It was the end of a crazy adventure.

2007-07-17T09:22:00.000-04:00

Today I was bored so I started driving looking for a Media Markt (the Future Shop of Germany). I couldn’t find one no matter where I looked and I was getting pretty far away from my house. All of a sudden there stood a sign before me that said ‘Potsdam 16k’. I’d never been to Potsdam before but let me tell you, it’s nice. Really nice.

Potsdam has a quaint European style setup that is very different from the hustle and bustle of Berlin. I took a nice stroll down the street (keeping an eye open for a media markt) and came across a wonderful array of beautiful parks, churches and markets. There is even a Dutch Quarter which has nice tiny Dutch houses. What more can one ask for?

Schloss Sanssouci was also a treat. The summer home of the Great Electors the park and palaces cover an area of 287 hectares. Needless to say, I spent a very long time and was well rewarded with views of Chinese tea houses and beautiful gardens. A must see for anyone who visits the area, it was easily one of the nicest places I’ve been in Europe.

Well, after a slow lunch in the market I continued my hunt for a media store but was not very lucky. It was getting quite hot after that so I decided to call it a day and head home for a nap. I feel like I’m already retired and I haven’t even held a proper job for more than a year yet.

As for my next adventure? I’m still trying to work that one out.

2007-07-12T11:39:00.000-04:00

This past week has been somewhat of a melancholy one. I’m not sure if it was good, bad or if it just was. Perhaps the last one feels the most correct. I’m not sure what I really expected out of my last week with the kids but I just let it happened and it went by fairly emotionless.

I believe that this state of emotionless stems partially from the fact that I was distracted this week. On Monday night I noticed that I had a slight tickle in my throat and my 12am that evening I was suffering from a high fever and sore throat. I would later find out that this was caused by a bad case of strep throat. It was very uncomfortable and it came at a bad time. I refused to go to see a doctor because it is a hassle and I wanted to see if my body could handle it. As it turns out, my body can handle it but it just takes about a good week longer than if I had gone and received a prescription. No matter, I showed that bacteria who is master of my domain: me.

Even though I was slightly delirious and oozing with sickness I decided that I should rally my strength to do my last week as an English teacher. Many of the kids had planned things for me, so I tried my best to act energetic.

My first attempt was an utter failure that almost resulted in me passing out on the floor. My second attempt was not much better. I had come wishing to say a quick good bye but I was given a gift of a 2 hour horse ride through the forest with the kids. This, normally, would have been great but for some reason the weather this month has been freezing cold and I didn’t have a jacket. I nearly died.

After that things got much better. I went on with my visits and received many good wishes and excellent gifts. I was starting to wish that I could stay with my little friends that I had made this year.

I was starting to get depressed towards the end of the week and I didn’t really know what to do with myself. It was then that Altes Lager received a visit from the First Mennonite Church of Winnipeg Choir. Now, one might think that hosting a menno choir from Winnipeg would be boring and uneventful, but it was amazing and we had a great time. Yes, most people on the choir where older than 65, but there were a couple of young bucks (30-45s) who were a real lively bunch. It was great to talk with Canadians and I couldn’t help but laugh as the conversations always seemed to turn to farming. As it turns out, wheat is very popular in Manitoba. I would have never guessed.

I even got invited along to go to Berlin with them and after a tour of the Charlottenburg Schloss, we had a nice Italian meal and then I went to the Berliner Zoo. I didn’t see Knut, but I did see many penguins which made the day highly entertaining. For those of you who are wondering, yes, the Toronto Zoo is still far superior.

Football and Parties

2007-06-30T05:28:00.000-04:00

So, I just found out that this guy I grew up with, David Edgar, is now a football star in England. Crazy. Interesting at what happens down the road of time, eh? He’s one of the stars now of the Canadian U-20 football club. Hopefully, when soccer finally becomes popular in Canada he will come and take a place at my beloved Toronto FC. One day.

Yesterday, a party was held for us trainees in Altes Lager. You could sort of call it our going away party. All of the people who we work with attended and lots of cake was served. I had a blast, but it was sad to be celebrating the ending of our time here.

We ended up getting a bunch of really nice gifts from everyone. We received a large number of Ritter Sport chocolate bars, with many different flavours to choose from, a book of nice photos about Berlin, a Teltow-Fäming t-shirt, and a bunch of Jüterbog paraphernalia. All of these things are very much appreciated.

This now means I have one week left of work. I feel that the work part is mostly over and that this coming week will be more of a time of small good-bye parties. On Thursday I am making ‘American Style’ pizza with the kids, so I’m looking forward to that. It’ll be messy, but fun. I’ll try and get pictures on here if I can.

gück mal! Ich habe scharfe zähne!

2007-06-26T13:53:00.000-04:00

So, here is another blog post; my third in three weeks. Hard to believe I know, but I really have nothing better to do that find ways to waste time and this provides an excellent opportunity to do just that.

Today, Tuesday, meant that I would find myself getting up at 7am to head to the Kita Neidergörsdorf. This is one of my more favourite work places, even if the kids are a bit wild. There is this one kid who is absolutely nuts, her name is Elisa. She is 3 years old and the most Aryan child I have yet to come across. She is so white that I sometimes have to wear sunglasses if we are playing in the sun. I’m being serious.

As I was pushing her on the swings today, she was telling me her big plans to run away from home, just for the day though, and move into the Kindergarten. She had it all worked out; the sleeping bag by her bed, the route to the Kindergarten drawn on a map (I have seen it and it resembles a thorn bush more than a map), and the food...well, she was going to just eat here at the Kindergarten. She was even kind enough to invite me along, but I said that Keith (they all know of him) would miss me too much. She replied by saying that she has very sharp teeth, and proved it by jumping off the swing and viciously ending the life of a tiny flower by gnashing it to bits. The greatest mystery in the universe is the mind of a 3 year-old.

Yesterday was my last lesson at Kita Lichterfelde. It caught me off guard because I didn’t realize that it was my last time there. I figured that I have another lesson in July, but apparently I don’t. It was a very melancholy moment as I was happy, but one of my kids started crying because I wouldn’t see them again. It was my first real warning shot that my work is actually at an end. I realize that I keep on repeating the whole ‘oh my! I’m leaving soon’ theme but that’s because it is such a weird feeling that I can’t rightly describe. After living here for so long, leaving seems almost impossible. I really think you can only experience what I’m feeling right now. You can’t have someone describe it. Isn’t that how life always is though? You can’t ever rightly describe it, you have to live it.

Last real week of work...maybe...ja..nein...doch

2007-06-24T15:36:00.000-04:00

Ah, Sunday; the perfect day of tranquillity and peace. Today Keith and I had a day of relaxation as we ended up spending a large part of the day with the pastor and his wife at their house. This means that we were treated to lunch and then later on in the evening a round of Kaffe und Küchen and board games. Keith and I ended up winning at one time or another. We rule.

Tomorrow I start my last real week of teaching English. Praise the good lord almighty! My vacation days are about this close: (----> <-----). Exciting, non? Trés. Technically, I have two weeks left, but I am writing the second week off due to good-bye parties and the like. I will never have to sing ‘The Wheels on the Bus’ ever again! It’s not that I don’t like doing these lessons, its just I don’t care to do the same thing 10 times in a week.

Everyday now I am reminded that soon enough I will be trying to reengage myself into Canadian society. Finding a job, looking at schools, trying to fit back into an old social life, these are all things that constantly gnaw on my mind. Reintegration is always hard once one has been away from their native culture.

In more than one way I am very scared to go back to my old life. There are a lot of things that I’m not looking forward to dealing with, but such is life. I’d have to deal with most of these issues in Germany sooner or later anyways. That little voice in the back of my head is now asking those questions that I don’t want to say out loud; am I going to fit back in or will I be bitter at coming home to a place that has changed without me? That is a scary prospect to deal with all of that change.

I’ve become so accustomed to my life here I sometimes don’t even realize how different North America is. I recently ran into a group of American students who were very green in the ways of the world, or so I gathered. They were very excited about staying in Germany for a month and some of them had serious doubts about whether they’d be able to make it through emotionally unscathed. I pompously discarded their notions of worry; living is Germany is simple.

After talking about it later with Keith, I suddenly awoke to the fact that living here was not easy at all. It was hard. It was really hard. I’d simply forgot what it was like to have intense culture shock. I’d forgotten what it was like to not speak the language, not be used to the change in food or weather or cultural attitudes. I think back to my first weeks in Germany and just trying to communicate with people would a task I thought would be insurmountable.

What I’m asking myself right now is, ‘will you be able to live in Canada? Or will you find yourself back at square one: in a culture that you don’t understand anymore and you’ve forgot how to speak the cultural language because you now speak a new dialect?’

There are few people in this world who speak the dialect of true multiculturalism. When you find someone who speaks it fluently, it is like finding a long lost family member. You accept them at once and trade stories about other people in the Family. There is a certain amount of trust because there is an instant understanding between these people.

I look back into my old life and see that there are few people who I know who can speak this language. Will I starve for true conversation? Will my friends find my dialect too hard to unravel? These are questions that are going through my mind at the moment.

We’ll see how things turn out. I’ve still got a 1 ½ months though, so hopefully that will give me some time to prepare myself!

Some pictures of my German life...

2007-06-23T06:15:00.001-04:00

A very odd feeling has come over me now that I have only two weeks of work left. That is still a bit of time, but in my work terms that means that I get to see each class two more times and then we're finished. Depending on which class we are talking about my feelings at the moment range from very sad to numbing joy.

I have a grand total of 6 weeks left until I'm at home. The reasons I want to be home all seem to be silly ones though. Whenever people ask me the, 'what's the first thing I'm going to do when I get home' question, I answer with, 'Go out and buy a box of Honey Nut Cheerios! I mean... go see my family?'.

Things have been very low-key lately. I seem to be just wasting time because I don't really feel that I have too much to acomplish other than enjoy all of my free time and be excited about my vacation plans that are coming up next month. We're also having our 'Closing party' next Friday, so that should be interesting.

My favourtie class at Kindergarten Langenlipsdorf

Keith and I walking in downtown Jüterbog

Geißen

2007-06-18T16:39:00.000-04:00

So yesterday I returned home from my first trip to Geißen in Hesen. We had a trainee party there and I got to tell you, it was a blast and then some.

My friend Rachel came to visit us on last Thursday and after a delicious meal of sushi and beers in Berlin we were off again to Altes Lager. Rachel, Keith and myself are currently in the process of making a movie in which killer ‘moon cows’ are trying to destroy the population of unicorns...and people....and dogs. It is a long and complicated story that usually involves a very bored altes lager trainee and a camera of some sort. Anyways, we got a lot of filming done and I am very excited to see the end result at the Intermenno End Conference talent show.

After work on Friday, we all hoped on the train to Geißen and had a jolly 7 hour train ride. Oh sorry, did I say jolly? I meant ghastly, my bad. 7 hours on a high speed vehicle sounds like fun to most North Americans, but I’d have to say it is over-rated. I shouldn’t be so bad though, we did have some hilarious conversations. Friends help on these trips.

Upon arrival we were met by some very friendly trainees sitting in chairs in the back of a large van. There also may or may not have been some sort of beer involved. Just kidding, it was just water.

The trainee who lives there, John, then drove us home and we had a little trainee party before going to some very awesome bowling lanes. I didn’t have a super game, but I did okay. Eric, I will find some way to win one of these days.

The next day we went into the very lovely city of Geißen and had a ball running around with like chickens with our heads cut off. No wonder Europeans don’t like us, we’re so freaking loud all the time. It was a beautiful day filled with a little football, a pick-nick under cherry trees and a very hungry puppy that looked quite sad as it was dragged away from our food.

That night John made us hamburgers that were really, really good and we had mojitos and sat outside and enjoyed the night. It, unfortunately, started to rain so we moved the party back inside and eventually went out dancing. Really good music and a lot of fun, even though I left early with another friend. We’re really more pub people than club people. Go figure.

This is my last adventure until I leave Altes Lager in one month. Crazy, but I had a lot of fun and it was well worth the weeks of anticipation. Now all I have to do it wait for the End Conference

2007-06-10T15:00:00.000-04:00

It is now the 10th of June. One has to ask the question, ‘Where has all of the time gone?’ I can hardly believe that it has been 10 months already. Looking back I have done so much, and I find it hard to believe that it is all coming to a close. While two months is still a long time, life in Altes Lager seems to make it fly by. That or makes it crawl to a stand still.
As my across-the-hall mate Keith said that he is in between wanting to leave now and wanting to stay. I feel the exact same way.
On one hand, going back to life in Canada will be nice, but then I have to start intergrading myself back into the real world. I already know from previous experiences that trying to do that will be a somewhat painful experience, it always is.
Being in Europe means that I have total freedom, for the most part, to do what I want. I lead a life here in which I am ultimately accountable to only myself and I have very, very few responsibilities. I say that I maybe do real ‘work’ for about 18 hours a week. I don’t have to work about paying bills or where I am going to get money for entertainment. The life of a trainee is very nice.
It does have its drawbacks though, especially since I’ve been here in AL for 2 terms, as opposed to 1. We exhausted all of the free activities some time ago, really to the point that I could most likely walk through town/the local hiking trails/tierparks with a blindfold! For the most part though I’ve managed to do and see a lot of interesting things while living in AL, so I’m more happy than disappointed in the end.
The one thing that helps with boredom is taking a trip. Just when I think I can’t stay in AL a moment longer, I usually end up on a train. Travelling releases a lot of the stress I build up and reminds me how fortunate I am to be here in Germany. I travel, get tired and then get really happy to end back in my own room.
The next travel opportunity is another trainee party; this time being hosted by the Gießen trainee. Gießen is a town close to Frankfurt am Main for those of you who don’t have a knowledge of placement towns and German cities. I am very excited to get back on the road and hang-out with my friends. This will be my last major trip before I leave A.L. for good.
It is nuts just even thinking about that. While we don’t know exactly when our work here ends, we are pretty sure that we are finished around the 12th of July. That means I only have 4 more English classes to make! Woohoo! We are planning on spending the rest of our time travelling before finally heading back to Mennorode in the Netherlands for the Intermenno End Conference.

Starship Boxes

2007-05-18T14:01:00.000-04:00

Well, it’s that time again (update time), so I suppose I should get to the updating part. Things have been going pretty steady this week, mostly on account that it was a 3 day work week. Yesterday was a holiday and so today is an unofficial holiday for me as well. I have to say, waking up this morning and knowing that it was only Friday sent shivers of happiness down my spine.

My holiday yesterday was spent listening to music. In the morning there was a music band from Chicago who played at the local theatre ‘Das Haus’. It was an interesting band, not what I usually listen to, but pretty good all the same. The people from the band were very nice and very American. This one guy was quite content to start talking with someone in rapid English, even though no one understood a word of what he was saying. Nice though. Really.

Yesterday was also the beginning of the ‘Jüterboger Spargelfest’. Spargel, for those of you who don’t know, is rather like asparagus, except pasty white in colour; and they have a festival for this thing. Back home we have a ‘Strawberry Festival’, but everyone likes strawberries! Spargel? You’d be better off hosting a ‘Broken-Needles-I-Found-By-The-River-Fest’, in my humble opinion.

After returning home from the Asparagusfest, Keith and I were dazzeled and amazed by watching one of the greatest young men movies of all time: Starship Troopers. Simply amazing to be blunt! In fact, we were so impressed that we went out today and rented the sequel, only to be horrifyingly disappointed. I had high expectations and I was caught unawares. Pity.

It’s funny how time seems to change things, especially when there are long distances involved. It odd how sometimes you can feel so close to someone and then all it takes is a little time to dissolve that friendship. I suppose I could make this more cliché by adding the traditional, ‘you think you know somebody and then...BAM!’ That seems to be the end result of most of my friendships at one point or another. I think I have something solid and then it turns out to be just another empty....um...geez, I’m pretty stuck for a word here, so I’ll just say....bottle...no...box, then it turns out to be just another empty box.

In the end it’s good to find the empty boxes, because empty means that there was nothing for me to get out of the friendship anyways. I’d most likely just end up with another ‘Christmas and Birthday Card’ friend. There seem to be very few genuine people who will actually tell me what’s going on with them; everyone seems so guarded these days. Odd.

TLDR....a very long post

2007-05-15T12:34:00.000-04:00

Well, I’m sick. How sick you ask? Sick enough to throw up in our local Netto (grocery store), right while everyone seemed to be checking-out. A perfect ending to the perfect week. However, this does give me some time to do some writing, so not all is lost.

I’ve been doing a lot of writing this week. Mostly to family, but also to the odd friend too. I’ve been trying to keep contact with the kids from Winnipeg. Sorry, I shouldn’t really be saying ‘kids’, as they are young adults. I’m only a whopping 3-4 years older than them, so I think that I’m not allowed to do that quite yet. It would seem as though Keith and I have become mini-celebrities within this small private school, or so they say. Hopefully it was the ‘this guy was practically the Fonz’ type of popular. I have to say that I’ve come a long way from being quite unpopular in my own high school to being recognizable in pictures to teens in a small private school in Winnipeg. I’d like to thank my family and my friends for all of their support.

I’ve just finished a book by David Sedaris, who is by all accounts a very talented and humorous writer. Most of his stories are about his life and his family, and something that I found very strange is the fact that I could really relate to the narratives. While his stories are, in a number of ways, highly disturbing, I could honestly really see the same type of stories happening to me and my family.

I’d like to say that my family is just ‘different’, but to be honest we are weird, and not in the sense of quirky weird (‘Oh, I bought crazy pants made out of sequins today! Isn’t that weird?’), but more like the kind of weird that people like to talk about in hushed voices. One of my sisters told me last week that she wants to move into a monastery with European monks. This was after she was talking about her friends from the French School of Circus Arts. We talk about these kinds of things regularly.

Family is such an interesting topic of discussion. When you talk to me the first, and most likely only thing, that you’ll learn from me is everything about my family. I take a large amount of pride in knowing that my family is not boring, and that my siblings tend to lead a life that is usually far more exciting than my own.

I had a family friend visit me this week, someone who is close with the rest of my siblings. Our two families have astounding similarities, so much so that we are even related on both sides of my family, even though my step-family. We have the certain members of the family that seem to correlate to each other; the nutty sister, the wild popular brother, the quite ones and then us. I wouldn’t presume to define my own role in the family out of fear that I would have a bias opinion of myself, but if I had to take a stab at it I would go with ‘the one who means well, and likes to dish out advice but rarely takes advice himself and seems too lazy to really make any sort of change’. That seems about right in my eyes.

I often find myself wondering how things are going to turn out in the future. I have a theory that the heavens will part and the stars will align and peace shall reign forth in our family when a child arrives. Once there is a baby to focus our small talk on, there shall be peace. Babies have this effect, even on those who don’t really like babies (I include myself in this pile, as I have a fear of dropping them).

I suppose family hostility is sort of a given. Like throwing up in the grocery store, sooner or later family fights happen, even if you really, really don’t want them to and there are lots of people watching. I am the oldest of 6 kids, and in a family like that (especially since we are all around the same age) you have to fight for what you want. What we needed was there for the most part, but if there was anything you wanted you had to fight for it. If there was a pizza pocket in the fridge, you had better eat that damn thing before someone else did. Even if you weren’t really hungry, it didn’t matter because it wouldn’t be there when you were.

I feel now for my youngest sister Natalie. She was the smallest in the house hold, and while she was the baby, she was also as tough as nails. As kids, it was common practice with us older kids to punch her in the head as a greeting. This eventually died off once she grew big enough to punch back, but it is still so much of a greeting ritual that we still tell her that we are going to punch her in the face when she answers the phone.

When you have younger siblings its hard to realize when they’ve grown up. By the time my sister entered high school I had already graduated. When you move out of the house and they are just 14, you have a tendency to remember them as such. Coming back you don’t realize that you are talking with an adult, to you it’s still someone with a curfew and a bedtime.

The last argument I had with my sister before moving away was about the fact that we were eating all of her snacks for her school lunch box meals. My mother rarely bought junk food, other than things she knew that we didn’t like. This was a sort of safety device that we all had developed. We developed different tastes so that only we could enjoy whatever it was we were enjoying. In high school I had a tendency to drink root beer and ice tea together because my father hated ice tea and my mother hated root beer.

If we bought food we would often hide it or write our names on it or do both. This in turn in would infuriate my step-father who would threaten to write his name on everything he bought. He didn’t like the fact that we helped ourselves to the food that we bought but did not return the favour, especially when it was a cereal that he had developed a taste for.

My step-father is a man of morals and rules. He liked to teach my brother and I lessons that often involved being tricked or doing something we really didn’t want to do. If we didn’t remember to take out the trash on garbage day, then he’d often give us the option of finding somewhere else to put the usual 6 bags garbage or sleeping with them in our room. I know all of the best places to dump large amounts of trash in the Markham-Stouffville area of Ontario.

He was always very good at tricking me. First, let me clarify that a prank is something that someone does on someone else that usually has funny repercussions for both people involved. A trick is when my step-father convinces me to do something willingly that usually has large short term negative effects for me, and long lasting positive effects for him.

One day my step-dad came home and told my brother that he was going to take us somewhere special and that we should get in the car and wait for him. My brother and I were thrilled at this special invitation. My step-father, in addition to being a man of rules, is a man of mystery. He rarely tells us anything about himself so to go somewhere ‘special’ for him usually means somewhere really dangerous and exciting.

After swearing that we weren’t just going to Giant Tiger (the local Stouffville dollar store) we were off on our adventure. My brother Tim suggested that we were going to a munitions dump, while I had a vision of a secret industrial junk yard. We were excited and my step-father drove us off into the night.

After several hours of guessing and disusing what we would do with our bounty my brother and I started to get cautious. We had jumped into the car rather quickly...almost too quickly. As we turned into an unknown building centre we both saw clearly that we were in fact heading to the Whitby Mental Facility. The horror of the situation instantly gripped us. We had been tricked into visiting our Aunt Dona, who is very nice, but very scary at the same time. We both clawed for the doors as my step-father sat back in the car seat and filled the small vehicle with is shrill high-pitched laughter. We were in the middle of no where. We were doomed to sit out every awkward moment of our visit.

In hindsight, this was a clear lesson learned about the importance of family. Having heard horror stories, I was not very pleased to be in Whitby to say the least. As it turned out, Aunt Dona, while still very lively, was also very nice. The lesson that family is important and deserves love no matter how weird they are was a hard taught one, but one that I’m glad I learned all the same.

It's not that I'm not the romantic type...

2007-05-06T16:19:00.000-04:00

So time for a little update on the old blog. Keith and I just got home from seeing 300 in Berlin. It was a pretty good movie, very Sin Cityish. Seeing as I just got back from watching this film, I will only be giving you the very slim rundown on what last week was like.

So last Friday Keith and I went to Weirhof in Rhineland Pfalz for the German Trainee Spring Conference. It was really fun to see my good buddies from the program, we always have lots of fun together. We all took a day trip to Worms and I saw the Rhine River for the first time. Have to say that I was pretty disappointed; it wasn’t as scenic as I thought it would be. We also had a tour of the village we stayed in by the first trainee ever. It was really interesting as I am very interested in Mennonite history and he was the guy to go to. If there was anything else that was memorable in the weekend I forget. Oh wait, Debbie. I love Swiss people. Enough said.

After the conference a bunch of us went to say with the trainee who is staying in Enkenbach (also in Rhineland Pfalz). I got to hang out with my friends there, lots of Germans, Canadians and Americans (and a lot of very hard to understand Pfälzisch accents). My friend Hannah came on Monday and then the two of us left Enkenbach to go travelling.

Going on vacation was very nice. Hannah and I started off in the old city of Freiberg, which is right in the middle of the famous Black Forest. It was beautiful there and we both had fun. The weather was great and the meals were good too. Lots of just sitting and talking.

Next we went to the city of Basel, which is in Switzerland. It was one of my favourite cities I’ve been too. It wasn’t really touristy, which was great, and the people were really nice. Sometimes it was difficult as they speak Swiss German, but everyone could also speak High German too. The river was much more beautiful here, but the stores along the front were very expensive! Merci veil mals!

The last major city we went Strasbourg. Excuse me if I spelt it wrong, there seems to be a million ways to spell it. Strasbourg is said to be the ‘Capital of Europe’ and sits on the French side of the border. Another very beautiful city with very interesting architecture and nice people. Being in France, they spoke French, but I found my 9 years of French class to be very unhelpful. I guess I should have listened better, but luckily for me, the all spoke German. Learning German comes in handy when you live in Europe.

After France we went to go visit my friend Rachael in Karlsruhe. We had almost too much of a good time, if there is such a thing. Rachael and I made plans to go to Poland next month, so that is good too.

Then after all was said and done it was time to go back to Enkenbach, say my goodbyes, and then head back to Altes Lager. It was a good vacation, but I’m pretty tired now and I feel like I need another vacation just to rest!

2007-04-25T13:13:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is my last day of work and I could not possibly be more excited to get out of Altes Lager. There seems to be a heck of a lot of office politics right now and Keith and I are in the middle. Too many people complaining to me at one time! No problem though, next week I’ll be in FRANCE BABY! Not to mention that Friday night means that I will be reunited with my Intermenno crew. I don’t think I could possibly be happier at this point in time.

Except there was this one small thing that happened today. Well, I was holding a large cabinet and trying to help fix it with the pastor of the church here. I may have not been paying attention and a large piece of board fell and partially stabbed the pastor in the head. It’s okay though, I drove him to the hospital and they stitched his head up really well. He was supposed to take us out for dinner tonight, but he had to cancel. Schade.

another week gone by....

2007-04-20T08:41:00.001-04:00

I say, it look’s like it’s time for a little blogging. It’s Friday, and as such I now have a little bit of time to actually do some things that I have been putting off, like making a new post, sorting school out, making my travel arrangements for next week, find a job for next year...

This week went by at the speed of sound. I can hardly believe that it is already the weekend, not that I’m complaining or anything. This past week has been one of, for the most part, BBQ’s and tying up loose ends for my up coming vacation.

Keith is now back from his ‘Northern European Trip 2007’ and by all accounts good times were had by all. He went to visit my brother Tim in Norway for a bit and then went to Scotland to visit another friend there.

It is nice to have Keith home as I was getting a little stir-crazy for some good ol’fashioned English. Those other trainees with no-English placements deserve some praise, as it is no small feat to speak a different language for long periods of time. My German has improved quite a bit I’d say though. When you’re forced to speak, you’d be surprised how much you have subconsciously learned.

To celebrate Keith coming home and the good weather, we had ourselves a proper grillfest. German’s love to BBQ and Dan and Ben were kind enough to have left us a small grill. We had a nice feast of pork, bratwursts, brötchen and we treated ourselves to a Pilsner Urquell (got to love the Czech). The rest of the afternoon we were content to sit and relax and then we took a long walk afterwards. Quite the day and I can see why Dan and Ben were so keen on grilling.

The rest of the week has been doing much of the same, but the weather has been threatening to rain for the longest time now. We finally have the bikes fixed so we are planning on using those this weekend. Other than that I need to make some new lesson plans, so if anyone is reading this and would like to be a good sport and make one up for me, I’d be quite happy.

Schönes Wochenende!

Friday

2007-04-13T10:08:00.001-04:00

Well, today can really only be described as fantastic. Outside it is a whopping 25 C and when you count that it is the glorious day know as Friday, one can’t help but be in a good mood. Especially when you get home from a long hard days work (one hour) and you forgot to turn the radio off. One might think that that would be a bad thing, but it’s not if the song it’s currently playing is the Superman’s theme song and you have a cold one in hand.

God bless Friday.

Easter

2007-04-08T15:21:00.000-04:00

Today is Easter Monday, and as such I have a lot on my mined to think about. Lately, I’ve been feeling less than amazing when it comes to the ‘spiritual’ department. I often find myself wondering what is more important to me: the people in the church or the church itself. Is community the only thing that is keeping me a Christian?

I find that being part of a community is something that is really important to me. Perhaps that is why I felt such a large pull to start looking into my Mennonite roots. Being part of a community is something that validates some people; one feels like there is a place where to belong to. I really have no idea where my family comes from as it is usually considered a ‘taboo’ subject on both sides of my family. It is no wonder then that I find myself in a Christian community, where everyone can usually find themselves a caring family just by showing up.

The reason this question has suddenly struck me is due to a women in church today. The service this morning was not that great, not saying that the speech the pastor made was good, because it was, but there were very few people there and it was less than boisterous.
One old lady got to the front of the church during the service and took out a book and started to read. Even though she was reading Russian, it was easy to understand that she was reading about the death of Christ. As she was reading she started to cry and I could see that she was very hurt and upset as though a close friend had passed away.

She must have thought of Christ that way, as a close personal friend. All I could think about was how I don’t feel that way at all. Why don’t I have a close relationship with Christ? What is it that is keeping me from really becoming happy and giving everything to him?

I saw a few weeks ago a skit about a man who touched an object, and despite all of his efforts, he couldn’t let go of it. That object turned out to be sin. That is how I feel about my life sometimes, that I am tarnished with sin and that nothing I can do will ever let me be free of it. It seems as though we are doomed to carry these objects through-out the entirety of our lives.

There is nothing in life that promises us that being a Christian will solve our problems. That is something that I have come to accept. My question is this: how do I stoke the coals of Christianity and lead an exciting, fulfilling life? Something to chew on for the next little while.

Here is a picture of me with my hair ‘In Ordnung’ as we like to say here in Altes Lager. I bought the ladies of the Altes Lager hair salon a thank-you card. They laughed.

2007-04-04T10:58:00.001-04:00

Well, yesterday I did what I have been threatening to do for a long, long time and cut my hair. It wasn’t so much as a hassle as it was a trial of human endurance. Don’t get me wrong I’m glade it is not over, but it was an ordeal that I will not soon forget.

I was debating my decision all the way to the barber’s shop and even while I was sitting waiting for the inevitable. I think the only reason I went through with the act was the fact that Keith was also getting the deed done. He had been talking about getting an ‘irok’ (Mohawk) for a while now just so he can keep up with his very trendy Euro-lifestyle. His haircut took about 20 minutes and turned out rather well.

My haircut, on the other hand, took closer around 2 ½ hours. For those of you who know me, you know that I tend to grossly exaggerate pretty much everything and that you need to take what I say with around a bag of salt. This time I’m being strait-up.

I feel pretty bad for the poor souls that had to work on my hair. I say souls because there were, at one point, 3 different women brushing the knots out of my hair. One of them had to stop to take a break because her arm got too sore. It took a long time, and a hefty supply of industrial strength conditioner, for those women to work their magic. The out come of all of this is that my hair is now 4-5 inches shorter and, essentially, back to the poofy, curly, uneven state that I really didn’t like in the first place. The one glorious exception would be that my hair has no knots and thus is no longer beginning to breed its horrible knot-offspring and consuming creatures of small manors. I’ll have pictures soon of the whole process.

In other news, Keith is off to visit my brother in Norway and then off to visit a friend in Scotland. This means that I am effectively alone for, what seems like, a long time. I have so far spent today in peaceful solitude, the only interruption being a visit Daniel and Waldimar. They have spring break now and decided to come by to chill for a bit. I still have to work tomorrow but I get Friday and Monday off, which as anyone will tell you is awesome.

I would also like to take this moment to reflect on a good friend of mine. That friend is BCC World Radio. Does radio get better than the excellent British programming that I look forward to every morning, afternoon and evening? God bless the U.K. and their host of well primed journalists, with out whom I would be very unaware of the world around me.

Happy Easter

April

2007-04-02T08:49:00.000-04:00

Well, time for another amazing update. I am happy to report that I am in a better mood than my last post. It seems like a lot has happened since then, but I suppose that is just due to the fact that I have been very busy of late.

The Canadian kids are now gone. After dumping lots of sweets and farewells on us, we parted ways early this morning. They were an interesting group and it is sad to see them go as we had lots of fun and they seemed to make things here in Altes Lager that much brighter.

The past weekend I also had a trainee come visit us, Christine that is. I am now happy to report that every Intermenno trainee has been here to see Keith and myself here in Altes Lager. We did the usual tour items, seeing Berlin and Altes Lager. Fun was had by all. Again, it was sad to see her go this afternoon as that means it is now back to just Keith and I.

April is here and that means that I have now been here for 8 months, leaving just 4 short months to go. This is the time where one starts to really think about making arrangements to go back home. It also makes me think about how fast the time has been going. I am not ready to leave yet; things are just finally starting to get really enjoyable here. It seems as if Keith and I are just finally starting to break into the community here, something that has taken a considerable amount of effort. Doesn’t that always seem to be the case though? As soon as you get comfortable in a situation, its time to leave.

Hannah is coming in one month. Very, very, very, excited.

2007-03-28T12:15:00.000-04:00

Well, this certainly could count as the worst day I have encountered since being here in Germany. I just need to crawl into bed and sleep for a while. I don’t feel really all that bad. I suppose these days come and go, and I deserved most likely half of all the bad things that happened today.

You know those days where you have a really, really bad morning and you know for a fact that it’s going to get worse in the afternoon? That is the kind of day that I had today. It is all the more horrible because you know that there is nothing that you can really do to avoid the impending doom, so you just sit and brood over it, effectively making it worse.

Well, at least all of the bad things are over and done with and I can move on. That is unless I end up breaking my legs in some freak basketball accident, which at this point would not surprise me at all.

Its times like this that make me really want to fly back home to the safety and comfort of Canada; A place where everyone can speak my language (most people), and I can express what I really want to say without any hindrance. I’m sure though it will be times like these that will make finishing out the program all the sweeter. If we all gave up when times get tough then we all wouldn’t go very far in life.

I need a hug.

We are North Americans!

2007-03-26T11:27:00.000-04:00

Time for an scoop of update goodness. I’m going to try and make this as short as possible, but there has been quite a bit of stuff happening lately.

Well, the group from Winnipeg is now here. There are about 8 grade 12 students and 2 married couples. They are all a really awesome bunch of people and I am looking forward to doing more cool stuff with them.

So far I have been doing quite a bit of work that I did see coming. Keith and I were really not told anything about the group and were not involved in the planning at all, which personally I think was a little silly. People on the German side were complaining that they had too much to do and didn’t want our help. The past couple of days have been busy though with driving, helping out, and I even have one staying with me now. It’s all good because we scored some free meals and I also enjoy just spending time with people my own age and talking glorious English.

The group arrived on Friday afternoon and then we all got acquainted. Right after that they all went to Tropical Island, a sort of indoor tropical beach. Keith and I opted out due to the price and instead went to Luckenwalde and purchased Scrubs on DVD. It was a night full of laughter at least. That can be a pretty funny show but I really don’t find the main character all that funny.

The next couple of days were filled with mingling games and whatnot between the Russian, German, and Canadian youth. I do have to say most of the games were some kind of violent beatings, but everyone seemed to enjoy them pretty well.

Yesterday all of the students were dropped off to stay with different families in the area. It reminded me so much of my first time here and how nervous I was. Some of these guys were sweating buckets, as none of them know German, and I thought of that first car ride into town after arriving at the Jüterbog train station. Watching them all get out of the van, all I could really do is laugh.

If anything, this group being here has really put how much I have learned into perspective. I have survived here for 8 months, sometimes by the skin of my teeth, but survived none the less. I can feel a major sense of accomplishment when I here someone asking me about the area or the language and I can give them a proper answer.

We are going bowling tomorrow. I bought a bowling t-shirt to help my score. It’s pretty much the most awesome shirt of all time. Pictures soon.

Ps. Keith and I had another paper interview with Frau. Duve. Hopefully, it went better than the last one.

Alles Gute,
William

Dearest William....

2007-03-19T11:59:00.000-04:00

Most of this post is inspired by a response to a letter to a close friend.

First off, let me start off by saying that the chances of the weather in Canada being around -100000000000 C is rather impossible. That being said, it has also been quite cold lately here. I thought that spring was here to stay, but there has even been talk of snow. March is by far the worst month in Canada, not even a contest; if it is not cold and snowing, it is cold a raining. If I were to state my least favourite thing in life it would March. Not only is the crappiest weather of the year out and about, but there is all of this talk about March Madness.

Personally, basketball is ridiculous. It’s not that I don’t like the sport, well actually yes, I guess that would be the main reason of my hostility towards it. I just don’t like it. Nothing personal, except for my ill wishes again the Raptors. They are not good, plain and simple. They always need to have someone carry the team on their back (i.e. Carter, Bosh). I’m sorry to say it, but the Raps will never, ever be the Champs.

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I get worried sometimes that people think that I don’t like it here. Granted there are some things that are less than desirable, but for the most part I really like it here. Here I’ll put it in bold to emphasize my meaning:

Altes Lager is a swell place to live.

On occasion, it is permissible for one to make a stop at Starbucks. Yes, it is expensive, but I suppose you’re buying a little bit of pretentiousness with every cup of coffee (and we all secretly love to be pretentious now and again). I wonder why feeling pretentious is addictive? Why is there such an inherent system in all of us that yearns for us to be well composed and perhaps even ‘upper class’. I do like their apple cider though....mmm. Although, it seems like it’s always too hot and I burn myself every single time.

I also have the same problem with studies. Every semester it was the same ‘I’m going to do it this time!’ attitude. However, after about 3 weeks I usually begin a slide that ends with me not doing half as well as I could be. I can’t remember how many times I’ve been talked to by profs and teachers about this. Too many to recount in this blog post.

I do have to say that I believe it will actually be different this time. Obviously this seems like I’m following the previous pattern but the difference is that this time I want to do school, as opposed to needing to do it. I wonder how it will all turn out? Let’s hope that the time tested formula can be broken on occation.

As for the topic of names, I do in fact like the name William. For the benefit of those you who are just reading, my roommate and I came up with a plan. One of the great things about collage is that you can change who you are, to a certain extent, because most people you meet there don’t know anything about you. I don’t like the name Gary (sorry, mom), so I’ve decided to change it. I once tried this in high school with the name Ben and it almost stuck. This time around when I head back to collage I’m changing my name for good. So far the front runner is William, but anyone is more than welcome to make a suggestion. Think scholarly British names (Nigel, Thomas, etc.)

I certainly do not like the name ‘Gärchen Bärchen’, which I have recently been hearing. All through out high school, older girls always called me ‘Gar Bear’. I swore to the Lord Almightly that I would never go through that again. Same with moms, they called me that too. The moms of all the girls I’ve ever dated called me by some nick-name that just added to my annoying ‘cuteness’. I have had so many nick-names I couldn’t possibly count them all. Most of them are in some way degrading.

Today was pretty swell as a matter of fact. Keith is back from München and he has no voice left. That meant that I had to drive around with him today and help him with all of his duties, like mailing letters and what not. I also happened to mail something, but I forget who I mailed it to. I also certainly added enough postage this time.

2007-03-18T08:22:00.000-04:00

It is Saturday and, believe it or not, I actually even got to sleep in today. I woke up a 7 am wide awake but I forced myself to lay in bed until 8:30. Why is it when I want to sleep I never have enough time and when I find myself with too much time I want to be active? Ah, cinnamon and gravy!

Friday came and went as a pleasurable day. I dropped Keith off at the train station at around 7:30am. He is going to visit the lovely city of München or Munich to you non-Deutsch speaking peoples. I hope he has a very good trip and brings me back something shiny.

After dropping Keith off, I enjoyed a relaxing morning of listening to the BBC World service, as it is now my only source of information about the outside world that I can understand in detail. I love British people. There is something so inherently awkward about being of British lineage, and by that I mean that being able to make any situation awkward and then go about as if it never happened is something that runs in the blood of all English people. I am a magnet for those kinds of situations.

After working at Kita Hohenseefeld and Petkus, I returned to an afternoon of napping. I had a quick lunch and then slept on my couch while listening to some classical music. I lead a very cutting edge life. I don’t mind it though. How many times have we been stuck at work only to wish that we could be at home napping? More times than I can remember, that is for sure. Going back to a real 45 hour work week will not be pleasant for the first little while.

I do have to say that there is such a thing as not enough work, something that I previously though mythical. Almost like saying that the other day you saw the cutest little dragon – it might get a laugh out of me, but we all know that its pure fantasy.

Sometimes, I find that I need to be doing more work. Most of my jobs consist of playing, and sometimes my job history of ‘constant working’, that being if you stop working its because you have a break or something is wrong, comes back to haunt me.

Just this past Tuesday, I was suddenly hit by a wave of anxiety because I wasn’t really doing anything other than playing soccer with the kids. I then rushed off to the broom closet and started to sweep the sidewalks. This impressed the my German hosts (not being ones to say no to a good sidewalk cleaning) but also confused them when I tried to explain that I felt I wasn’t doing enough. Personally, like all good people, I blame my parents for this condition.

After my nap, I was invited to head along with the youth to go Bowling in Luckenwalde. We are all trying to get our game improved so when the Canadian students that arrive this Thursday come, we can smoke them and in the process impress them as well. I previously held the record of a whopping 144 points in a single game; I was the envy of every high school boy.

It was sadly, not to be my best game ever on that particular night. The times when I become most ‘agitated’ are when I am in a game that I am relatively good at, and I find myself losing to someone else due to shear dumb-luck. This is quite a small occurrence, because there are not a lot of games that I am good at, thus making it all the worse.

My sister Vanessa has a rather uncanny talent for this. When we were kids, and just learning to play bored games, I found that I had a rather good talent for the strategy games, my favourite being Risk. Playing against my family I would slowly conquer the world until it was just within my total grasp. Then, as if the good Lord himself had willed it, my sister would roll double sixes, time after time, until my chances of victory would be totally nulified. I would watch in horror as my strong-holds of Europe, North America, and Africa were punctured and then before long massacred. Soon I was left with only little Australia, alone and soon to be defeated. And she didn’t even like the stupid game.

This time the aggressor was a 15 year old girl by the name of Sascha. She did not bowl so much as toss the ball and in that small time frame of maybe 10 seconds, I was forced to endure the utmost pain. Every time I would watch the ball thud against the ground, serve clearly towards the gutter and then, as if by a powerful mystical force, the ball would turn at the last second and knock all of the pins down. Apparently, it is not uncommon for the Russian teenagers of this area to train in the arts of the Jedi.

Kick the Dark Horse in the Tooth!

2007-03-15T16:11:00.000-04:00

So I had friend send me an email in which she expressed some of her difficulties working with 2-3 years olds. Apparently, the time when they are at their sweetest is when they are sleeping. I can seriously relate to that, but I still think that 3 year olds are the best age group to spend time with.

Take today for example, one in which 3 year olds had most of my attention. As we were playing outside today I had a group of about 6 little girls following me around. This is actually quite rare as most of these girls previously were quite shy or just plain scared of me. Today however, I wooed them over my starting a round of ‘Alle meine Entchen’ or ‘All my Little Ducks’, a common children’s song. Obviously, I was doing a poor job, so that had to show me how to do it right. Then I started singing Great Big Sea songs and they all pulled up little chairs and we sat outside in the sun. I would finish my song and then they would start a song of their own. As much as I hate to use this word it was ‘cute’. Watching us sing in our circle was so cute, it would have made puppies blush.

Again at this Kindergarten I got a reprimand, but this time it was for bringing treats for whoever one the game we played in English (actually I brought enough for everyone). Last week’s was for smiling while the teacher yelled at a kid. I felt horrible; all I really want is for someone to validate the work that I do here! Make’s you want to scream sometime.

Anywho, other than that today was pretty good. I came home to the realization that we had to do 2 hours of Sport and then right after do English for adults. Needless to say, I was hardly in a working mood after working all day. However, English for adults was cancelled because only one person showed up and for kindersport only about 4 kids (and 3 adults...) and two of the kids were the other adult’s children, so all worked out pretty well.

Keith is going to München tomorrow, so I’m all alone for the weekend. A co-worker asked me if I wanted to accompany her to go to Poland. I said no, but I might consider. I’ve seen Poland, and I kind of wanted to chill for the weekend. It is going to Poland for free though...mal sehen.

Ich wünsche dass ich besseres Deutsch sprechen könnte...und schreiben...und buchstabeiren...und, und, und....

note: edited for horrible German spelling and sentence structure.

Living Healthy

2007-03-14T14:13:00.000-04:00

Today was one of the best days I have had in a long time. Sitting here now, I have a large amount of satisfaction in recalling all of the things that I accomplished today.

The day started out simply enough, with Keith ringing my doorbell. I seem to incorporate the doorbell into my dreams frequently, most of the time it is a bag thing seeing as, unless it’s Keith, the only time someone rings on my door is when something is wrong or someone wants something from me. Anyhow, I keep on imagining the doorbell ringing so when it does ring, I’m never sure if I just making it up in my head. Today, I wasn’t; Keith wanted the keys to the car to drive to work.

I then proceeded to ride my bike to work, fulfilling a promise to myself to ride to work when it was feasible. Lately, I have not done so but today was a good exception. I went on riding to Malterhausen at 7:20am and it was, unfortunately, not as warm as it was yesterday (21 C). As such, it was a worse than usual decision for me to wear my badder-lachen (flip-flops).

I also found on the way there that my head phones now only work in one ear. This is somewhat of a tradition. Every pair of head phones I have ever owned in my entire life have eventually broken down so that they only play in one ear. You cannot believe how annoying this is, especially when you’re in the middle of your favourite Eels song.

Kindergarten was no worse than usual, in fact, today was actually pretty good. The Quiet Key game has effectively been destroyed – every child now carries their own ‘key’ in their pocket to open their mouth when I shut it. I would be more upset if I didn’t find their actions amusing and quite clever, for 5 year olds. We mostly ended up playing ‘What Time is It Mr. Wolf’.

On the ride home the weather was much friendlier and my mind started to wander a bit. I began thinking about what I was going to do when I returned home and found that I was apt to do so due to the fact that my apartment is well, for a lack of a better word, it is disgusting.

This made me pretty upset, the fact that I didn’t want to be in my own room because it was so uninhabitable. So I did the only thing that I knew would make it better and went on a absolute rampage. I vacuumed everything (and took the vacuum back), then I dusted, then I cleaned my bathroom so well that even my mother would be proud (my back still hurts from scrubbing the bathtub for 45 minutes). Then I took out my recycling, garbage, paper waste, organized my papers and then proceeded to go do two loads of laundry. This took up most of the day.

After that I was feeling very good about myself. One always feels better after doing a good long day’s work, something that I have not done in a long time. To keep up with the streak I went to the grocery store and bought healthy food, with no beer or sweets. I almost caved and bought a bottle of wine, but I’m trying to save money for traveling. What is wrong with me? I actually did everything that I should have done. Something is different; I might be sleeping near an open gas vent because my life is getting crazy.

AND to top it all off, I phoned my friend Hannah and we had a nice long, fulfilling chat about everything. She’s coming to Germany at the end of April and we are planning a trip together, most likely France or Belgium. I am really, really excited. Should be a good time.

Off to Berlin

2007-03-11T08:13:00.000-04:00

Frau Förester is currently on her way to pick Keith and I up to go to a musical in Berlin. This will be my first musical experience besides 'Seseme Street' when I was just a young lad. I've already had a taste of the ballet this year and I doubt it could be worse than that.

Other than that, I've just made some pea soup and I am famished. Driving old people all day works up quite the hunger!

ps. work on the 'The Taming of the Kuh' is coming along quite nicely. Be afraid.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, I am now reporting back here on the evening out. Wow. That is what I have to start with. The musical wasn’t so much of a musical, as it was a ‘euro-dancical’. I did not understand one thing that was going on, and it wasn’t because of my lacking German skills to say the least. It was called Rhythmus Berlin, and it was a musical about Berlin through the 20s to present (although they really didn’t go in any specific order when the play was going along to my dismay).

The dancical was 3 ½ hours long with a 15 minute break. That is a long time to still watching people dance and sing in a foreign language. By the end I was glad to be out, if not for that reason only.

I suppose it was okay, I’d give it a 6/10. There were some things in it that I liked, such as silly dancing Germans (silly is not in the German vocab), and there were some pretty good acrobatic scenes, lot of flips and whatnot. Not to mention there was a part with ballet Nordic –walkers, simply hilarious.

Overall, it was still nice to spend some time with the Föresters. It was nice of them to take us to Berlin for the afternoon for a bit of good culture. They even gave us a bit of sekt that they had hiding in their trunk.

I give this day 3 stars out of 5. The story was lacking at times, but the graphics were sweet.

Thorns

2007-03-08T13:17:00.000-05:00

Today is Thursday. Usually, Thursday is by far my favourite day of the week, but today was just more than a little strange. I really can’t think why though.

I woke up at 6:15am this morning; this is the earliest I have ever risen out of bed for work, with the exception of going to Blönsdorf with Keith. I really wanted to do a good job with English today. I was continuing my lesson of Insects to try and keep things interesting. I had been working on materials yesterday and I even went to Jüterbog to purchase some items that I was missing. By the end of everything, I still felt that it wasn’t enough.

I arrived at the Kindergarten and did my little ‘Englisch Spiel’. After the kids had effectively memorized 4 different kinds of bugs (spider, dragonfly, ladybug, etc) I helped them, with the assistance of the kid’s teacher, make their own bug out of cardboard and just about every wacky thing that you could glue or staple onto it. Over all, the kids really enjoyed it, but I still felt really horrible at the end of it. I had spent a lot of time on this and it still felt really sub-par.

I have been having that feeling a lot lately, that everything I do here is really sub-par. I can’t work at a level I know that I’m capable of and I’m finding it really frustrating. I don’t feel useful here, I guess is what I’m really getting at. That really bothers me because I feel that my life here is sometimes just a big waste of time. I like feeling that I make a difference and I can’t say that what I do is really all that important. I suppose that is what Intermenno said life would be like here sometimes. We exchange our time doing jobs that are sometimes not the most gratifying for the opportunity to experience something real.

I have had too much time on my hands lately, and not enough things to vent out my excess energy. I’m all out of books, the TV is broken, I can’t really afford to go anywhere, so I find myself looking for things to do every night and at the end of it all the only thing to do is go to bed. Or write in my blog.

Don’t get me wrong though, this is not a tears post. I still like it here, but I really am feeling the need to do something bigger. I have a friend, a fellow trainee, who is coming to visit at the end of the month. Her visit also coincides with the arrival of a group of youth from Canada. They’ll be here for a week and I’m sure that there will be lots of good English conversation and the like.

One other thing has been really bothering me lately. I was sleeping soundly the other night dreaming of myself on the flight back to Canada. I was talking to one of my friends on the phone, on the plane, and they said that I must have changed so much since the last time I saw them. It was then, on the plan ride, that I realized that the only thing that has really changed in all this time is that my hair is longer and I am about 5 pounds heavier. I awoke to a round of cold sweats.

I was expecting such a huge change coming here. Isn’t Europe the place where all young North Americans go to ‘find themselves’? If anything I have found that I am just more of the same person I always was. I am the same old me, but now amplified in a sense.

I suppose that I should just come to the final conclusion that I will never, ever change who I am. I may not like a lot of things about who that person is, but there are a lot of good things too. Since going to university, I’ve expected this huge change to just come about soon-or-later and then everything would be better; only waiting around meant that I was stuck doing nothing but waiting, instead of trying to slowly improve my social skills.
I don’t like a lot of the stuff I’ve done, and continue to do. It’s always the things that have happened in the past that come back to haunt you for all time. The plain fact is there isn’t much you can do about that, the past I mean. I could spend my entire life wishing things in my past were different, but that won’t do me any good. We all get dealt the raw deal card sooner or later, but there are a lot of good cards in the deck of life as well.

The Intermenno card has been a good one. If nothing else, it has given me lots of time to think things over, which is something I really needed to do. Sometime we need to remove ourselves from the day to day life we live and examine it from a distance. When one is more impartial about things, it’s often easier to spot the thorns; even if you can do little of anything at the time about taking the thorns out!

This post is way too long.

The Future is Coming!

2007-03-07T08:37:00.000-05:00

Let me start off by writing that I have changed my settings so that anyone can now post a comment on my blog. Apparently, I had the settings messed-up.

What a tiring day. Apparently the past few weeks lessons at Kita Lichterfelde have not being going too well. I guess they felt that I wasn’t doing enough English with the kids, which is a fair thing to assume because they hate it. The only time that they are not bored is when we do non-English games. We had a meeting about what they would like done and it was productive in a ‘German’ manner.

Everything seems to be going well other than that though. It’s another beautiful day out side and it really does feel that spring is finally here to stay. It’s all very exciting to say the least. Lots of things to do outside now, which is always nice.

I do have to say that I am tired though. I did not want to get out of bed this morning. I often find my body trying to convince my mind into sleeping in for the whole morning. Seeing as I get one day every two weeks to actually sleep in, I can fully understand why. No wonder I take so many naps.

I’ve been thinking a lot of what I am going to do when I go back. Right now the plan is to move back in with the folks and work for the coming semester and pay back all of my old school debts. After that it starts to get a little bit fussy.

One thing I know for sure is that I’m not going back to Waterloo. The more I think about it, the more I realize that it’s time to move on somewhere else. For the most part, my time there was good, but it’s time to start over somewhere new.

I’ve been really thinking a lot about Ottawa or moving to Toronto. I like both of those cities. They are much more vibrant and while the community aspect is a little different, it makes up for it with actual things to do. Got to love those markets.

Ode to a Blog Post!

2007-03-05T13:22:00.000-05:00

Man, what a day. I took such a ridiculously long nap, like 4 hours and now I’m really feeling out of it. Oh my, complaining about having too long of nap. I’m sure there are many people out there who would be more than willing to give me a good cyber-punch to the kidneys.

So today’s lesson was ‘Bugs’, and I have to say that it went off quite well. We played some insect games and then made paper butterflies. I feel that I am now starting to actually become a Kindergarten teacher. My kids are so awesome.

I promised Keith I would write a ballad about him, here goes:

Ode to Keith, From Yonder Room
Written by Gary Hallman
Sung in 2/4 time

Once I knew a Roberts-man, from Virginia was his home.
He was tall, and strong, with mullet fierce, he wandered to and fro.

His beard, it slew 10,000 men, their cries still on the wind.
I would not fight it for anything, to do so would be a sin.

O tells me a tale of Keith the Brave! Hark! Here ye all and know!
Those who wise to deny this man, will end up down below!

(Lute interlude, accompanied by Italian diva)

Fin

2007-03-04T16:09:00.000-05:00

What a week this has been, certainly the best I’ve seen in a long while. This past Thursday marked the 7th month mark. I have now passed the mark of half-way and have now 5 months left to live in Germany. Writing that down makes one think that 5 months is not that much time to spend enjoying the newfound good weather and company.

This Thursday also marked Keith’s 24th birthday. Happy birthday buddy. We celebrated by having a night out on the town, and by that I mean we went to the local truck stop. We had a few cold ones and watched some colour TV. Our TV has been broken for quite sometime, so this was a special treat.

The rest of the week was easy enough. I was happy to be back at school after a week of being sick. I really missed the kids and it was nice to play for a while. My English lesson for this week was hobbies, it didn’t really go so well. This week I’m going to try Bugs. I’m sure that will be a better attention grabber.

Keith and I are also working on our first movie ever. Its called ‘The Taming of the Kuh’ and guest stars the people of Altes Lager and various animals from the surrounding area. Keith plays a bold scientist and I play the loyal camera men, who are on a quest to save the Year of the Unicorn from falling to the evil Moon Cows. Terrifying creatures!

We have been filming for about a week now and so far, I’m happy to say, we have some excellent footage.

Coming to a conference near you!

2007-02-26T10:13:00.000-05:00

Today’s events were very low-key. I woke up feeling very tired because I kept on freaking myself out last night. I was dreaming that there was that girl from ‘The Ring’ inside my room and when a pop bottle fell off my desk, I nearly fell out of bed in terror. Then I decided to stay up past midnight, seeing that’s when most ghost attacks occur, to prove to myself that I wouldn’t have my mind flayed by extra-dimensional beings. I am happy to report that I remain ‘un-flayed’...for now.

After waking up and helping myself to last night’s birthday leftovers, I took a shower to wake myself up. My shower, I am sad to announce, has no more curtain. At first the spokes for the curtain were always coming loose and hitting me in the face, but recently while drawing the beast I accidentally plucked the whole thing right out of the wall. It gave me quite a shock to say the least.

Today I made the trek out to the small village of Lichterfelde to teach a whopping total of 6 kids, in two separate lessons. Today’s lesson of hobbies didn’t really go over that well. At first we starting talking about thinks that we liked to do, the kids responded well to that. However, when it came time to start on some English translations, they were happy enough to continue on about what they like.

As a by-product of today’s mayhem I have developed a way to keep children quite by playing a game. The game starts with me taking an ‘invisible key’ out of my front pocket. Then I explain that this key has the ability to lock a kid’s mouth shut. When I lock your mouth, you can't talk. When they have something to say they can then raise their hands and I will ‘unlock’ their mouths. It worked like a charm. I am really hoping to get some positive feedback from the rest of the kindergartens.

After work, Keith and I went to Jüterbog to cash in some gas vouchers. I recently received a 35 euro ticket for accidentally parking in a handicap zone. I know what you are thinking, it’s usually pretty obvious, but on this occasion it wasn’t, believe me. Herr Lehman decided that it was an excellent opportunity to give me a fatherly talk on the ways of German driving. I felt so embarrassed; he really was letting me have it. I now have a ticket total of around 100 euros and therefore take the honour of being the trainee with the most tickets in the history of Intermenno. I'd like to take time to thank the academy and those two housewives in red Jüterbog coats who gave me all of these tickets in the first place.

After our little driving lesson, Keith and I headed out to Luckenwalde to see if Keith could scrap up a cheap toaster oven. No such luck was to be had, but I ended up getting a good deal on a movie (Batman Forever.

In other sad news, Keith and I will be the last trainees to be in Altes Lager. We were recently informed that there will be no trainees here next year due to the fact that one of the major contributors to Neidergörsdorf trainees has pulled their funding. It’s a shame in a way; this was one of the most interesting placements in my opinion, not to mention the only one that was in the former GDR. I think this would have gone better here if they had let it be made a six month placement.

The last parts of Intermenno history in Altes Lager will end on July 12, 2007. Schade.

DDR and the magic cinderblock

2007-02-25T14:03:00.000-05:00

I am really full. I don’t know that I’ve ever eaten this much before. Today we went to the Familie Förester’s household to celebrate the birthday of our ‘Dad’ Klaus. This family has kind of been our host-family since we have come here. They’re really sweet people, with a really good ability to cook.
There was pretty much every kind of Teltow-Fleming delicacy that you could name, not least of which being klem kuchen with fresh cream. We had a very passionate discussion on the fact that the cream was actually with 13% less fat. That seemed to please people quite a bit.
Other than that the conversation was very interesting. They talked about the DDR days and how they compare to these days. Apparently, things are not all that better. While they all agreed that the freedom was nice, they do not like the fact that there seem to be very few jobs and no young people or doctors for that matter. Everyone, they said, is moving to the west.
It would seem like the whole world has this bigger and better syndrome. Like if I can only get to this place, than everything will magically fall into place and life will be good. I feel that people are often mislead about the West. The West does not equal a made life, what it does equal is an opportunity. I know plenty of people who have failed to achieve a good life in my spot of Canada, which is arguably one of the best places to live in today’s world. It still takes a heck of a lot of hard work.
Still, I understand that people really only want an opportunity in the first place.

Der In Ordnung Hammer

2007-02-22T13:44:00.000-05:00

Spring, I believe, is finally starting to poke it’s head here in sleepy Altes Lager. Keith and I even managed to go for a walk today, which is something that we have not done in a while. Soon we’ll be back on our bikes with the wind in our hair and the road will feel our savage tires of wrath! Hopefully, I’ll start to shed some of this winter poundage as well.

This week has not been entirely great though as I have been sick for the majority of it, with what I suspect to be the stomach flu. Sometimes, I feel perfectly fine and then the next second I’ll be doubled over in gross sickness. The beautiful weather of late has been naught but salt on the wound.

I spent a large portion of the day reading the old trainee yearbooks. Dan, if you are reading this, your page was pretty funny. I know exactly what you mean when you said you felt married to Ben. Here I am not just myself, I am Gary and Keith. We are fused as one.

Reading those kinds of memory journals made me really sentimental of my time spent here. My love/hate relationship with Altes Lager is slowly turning more into a love relationship. Now that the winter is ending I can see light at the end of the tunnel and things don’t look so bad. I’d say life is becoming more level, instead of the highs and lows. I really do feel like this place is my home now, in an odd sort of way.

Speaking of odd things, I forgot to mention the fact that last week Keith and I had to teach baseball. Oh lord, Europe is not ready for the Great American Game. Needless to say, the 9th graders we were trying to teach did not understand a lot – especially since our handle on the language is limited at best. However, we did have fun by the end of it, even if the rules were too complicated and the baseball gear turned out to be for T-ball, as opposed to gear for 14 year olds. That will be a good memory. Das war ‘Der In Ordnung Hammer’.

On a side note, I’ve been having a little bit of an argument over the issue of alcohol in Christianity. I’ve got some people telling me that in ancient times that wine was mainly used because water was often contaminated and unhealthy. While I do not doubt for a second that water was less than perfect back in the day, if people only drank wine based on that fact and not the fact that it tasted good and had an alcoholic part to it, no matter how slight, then folks I will eat all of my clothing and go naked for the rest of my life. If this were true than why is that practice not more commonly used today? Has the water quality really improved that much in the Middle East? I think not. I suppose alcohol is taboo for many Muslim people to a larger extent.

Also, were the same drinking rules not practiced back then as they are today? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that the old testament had some say on the subject and that certainly didn’t stop the Jews, who were far more conservative than today’s Christian conservatives, from drinking. Just a few thoughts.

Keith also says that he killed a mongoose today. I’ll have to reconfirm that and get back to you all.

Snow Patrol and Visitors

2007-02-19T13:28:00.000-05:00

We had some friend come and visit us and we all went to Snow Patrol. It was an excellent concert and we all had a blast.

Here is a picture of us in the German Reichtag (Parlement Buildings).

Mid-Term Conference

2007-02-19T13:15:00.000-05:00

So it’s certainly been some time since my last update. I know that I need to start doing this more regularly, but we all know that I’m lazy and to be honest one needs to be in the mood to blog. I am currently in one of those aforementioned moods.

Well, let’s think back to what has happened over the last month or two. Let’s start with the mid-term conference. In the middle of the year the Intermenno program hosts 5 days of fun, learning, and relaxation for all of the trainees. This year it was hosted in Thomashof by Karlsruhe. I don’t think that I need to say the whole thing was, well, awesome. Most likely the most fun I’ve had in months.

Keith and I got up nice and early and made sure that we got to the train station with ample time to spare. Our last conference we had decided to walk from Altes Lager and subsequently, missed our train. Not this time though! We had to take transfers in Lu Wittenberg, Leipzig, Frankfurt, and Mannheim, but everything went quite smooth.

When we got to Karlsruhe, we took a bunch of trams and a quick bus ride and found ourselves in the middle of Thomashof. The first thing that we did was search our friend Rachel, who is a trainee and works at the conference centre we were staying at. It didn’t take us long to find her and that was the official kick-off for our conference.

We were the first people to arrive but shortly after Mattias came and then everyone else followed, the last person being our friend Josh who didn’t arrive until 8pm that evening. It was so nice to see everyone again and I was running around screaming like a chicken with its head cut off. I don’t think that I shut my mouth the entire time that I was there.

The next few days were something of a blur, I’m sure it doesn’t take a degree to figure out why. Trainees will be trainees. However, here are the finer points of the weekend:

- Seeing the committee members. I have severe beard envy.

- Going to Karlsruhe to see the Schloss and tour around the malls and whatnot. Screaming on the elevators and buying fake mustaches!

- Trainee party day-1. I saw Kees gangster-style.

- Going to the Ballet and watching Johannes Neufeld giggle like a school girl at the men jumping around. Too funny. Then getting ‘locked-out’ of the third installment with Eric to sit at the bar and have a cold one. Great night.

- Debbie and her constant hair insults. I’m still thinking of a perfect insult.

- Trainee party day 2. Sara and Saskia are the light of my life. You will never meet more awesome Dutch people than these two women. Singing, dance parties, and 85 cent beer.

- Going on a hike through the area. Just beautiful, much more interesting than the flat plains of Brandenburg. Nice trees.

- Shalomj
- The abundant english conversations.
- The trainee talent show. Cats on things they’re not supposed to be on are amaaaazzzzinnggg!

Well, that was about it. I was sore to see the time go by so quickly. I mentioned that it’s certainly interesting how we are all such different people but we get along so well, seemingly. It all just goes to reaffirm by belief that mennonites are certainly awesome people. I love Intermenno and I’m almost sad to see the first half of the year come to a close. I’m happy, however, that I won’t have to go through the whole adjustment phase all over again though.

The next 6 months look like they will be much more stable than the last 6. Man, what a crazy life I live. Looking back, the past 6 months have been beyond challenging, beyond amazing, and beyond words. Let’s hope the next half doesn’t go by too quickly.

Foil Dinners and Book Reviews

2007-01-28T14:22:00.000-05:00

I need to finish a little presentation I’ve been working on, but I have writer’s block at the moment so I figure I’ll warm myself up with a little blogging.

The past week has been very crazy and it looks like I now have a little bit of a breather before I’m right back at it again. Mattias came to visit us this week and what a week it was. Lots of party-time and late nights, which in-turn has given me a larger than usual lust for naps. We did a number of fun activities, such as making foil-dinners and hotdogs out in the forest by a well made fire, lots of music jams, and a late night party day in Berlin last Friday night to top it all off. All in all, I’d coin it a very successful visit.

This Thursday I’m off to Karlsruhe (or rather Thomashof) to head to the Midterm conference. I’m very excited to see all of the trainees and committee members. Looks like it’ll be a full 5 days of Menno goodness. The little presentation that I’m supposed to be working on is for the first night of the conference. It’s okay though, I’ve practically finished it, so a little procrastination to think of a good ending is most likely a good idea right?

Other than that it’s just been pretty low-key. Today, I did my usual old people driving and then Waldi, Keith and I watched a movie with Rowan Atkansin in it, and it was quite good. Very British, if I do say so myself. Then I took to reading for a while and taking a well deserved nap.

I’ve done a lot of reading lately, and so far I’ve been very pleased with the books. Tim bought me ‘Everything is Illuminated’ for my birthday and I loved it. Way different than the movie of course, but I think the movie was great in its own way as well. I read it while we went to Auschwitz; I laughed, I cried, I read in silence. I’d give it a grade A.

Then right after, Hannah sent me ‘The Life of Pi’. In a few words, I’d call it life changing. It was exactly what I needed. Reading that book gave me enough epistemological thoughts for me to chew on. I would say, it didn’t change my religious beliefs but rather how I look at religion in general. A much more peaceful approach that I find is much more in tune to my beliefs as a Mennonite. Plus, it’s amazingly well written and has lots of Canadian references, which I highly approve of.

Currently, I am reading ‘A Short History of Nearly Everything’. I’m currently feeling in a really math and science mood, which is very odd considering these two subjects have more often than not been the Bain of my existence. Something that I’ve learned so far is that science can be very interesting if put into perspective and not written by scientist. I find that the most amazing minds of our time have usually been sub-par writers, as is the norm with most academics. It’s the same with university professors, they may be a genius in their perspective fields, but they suck at teaching and conveying what they know into practical terms. I guess that’s what a TA is for, right?

Anywho, time to get back to my little project and then I still have to make lesson plans for this week.
Ciao Darlings.

Trip Update

2007-01-14T08:25:00.000-05:00

So I suppose that it’s time to tell the next part of the trip.

So last I left off we had finally arrived in the main square of Prague. Not bad. We walked around for a bit in search of an internet cafe, until we finally found a cheap one. We wanted to look up a cheap hostel that would be close by as we had these large heavy sacks. We finally decided to check out one on a flyer that we had been given earlier at the train station.

The name of the place was The Golden Sickle. Nice allusions to the good ol’ days eh? It was a little more expensive that we would have hoped, around 300 crowns, but it was nice enough and we didn’t really want to go looking for another place. We signed in and then were taken up to a dorm room where we met some nice Polish people and a couple of Aussis and Brits. We settled in pretty quickly and then went out to find some food.

All in all, it was a pretty relaxed night. We did some exploring and got some stuff to eat from the local grocery store. We were both feeling a little anxious to see how things would turn out, but I think they ended up turning out okay. I’m starting to forget what really happened; I wish I would have written this all down. We had a good time and then finally received some much needed sleep.

Adventure Calls

2007-01-10T13:34:00.000-05:00

So time to do a little update I suppose. Well, it’s certainly been a long and very interesting period since I last wrote, almost a month! A lot has happened since then. Let’s all start back and pretend that it is the night before the trip. (Time warp noises).

So Tim and are finally packed and then we have a dinner with all of the people in the Gemeinde. We had a secret Santa and everything. We didn’t have gifts, but we ran back to the room and grabbed the freshly purchased glüwine that had arrived early that night. It was a big hit! I ended up nabbing myself a pasta set, I was so happy.

The next day Tim and I set off to the post office to grab the money gram that my parents were sending us. The website said that it opened at 7am, however, it turns out that it does not open until 9am. Very un-German if you ask me. So that starting things off on a bad note, seeing as our train left at 9:03am. We managed to work things out to say the least.

The train ride to Prague was fairly uneventful. We went through Dresden, but that is really the only notable city on the German side. The Czech cities, I could not pronounce even if I wanted to. We got our passports czeched (haha, get it?!). I slay myself.

Anywho, we arrived at Prague at around 3pm and were immediately set upon by people looking for backpackers. We were so afraid of pickpockets that we ran from these people, but not before grabbing a flyer off of one man (who later turned out to be the owner of the hostel we stayed at and not, in fact, a pickpocket).

After an almost straight forward trip on the subway we arrived at the main square. It was beyond awesome; statues and the huge museum, and much more. We had finally arrived in Eastern Europe (or so we thought). We finally made it and the real trip began.

The big 20

2006-12-18T16:51:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow, I leave to head to Prague with my brother Tim. It’s been a long week and next week seems like it’ll be even longer. I suppose traveling takes a lot out of a guy. I’m still looking forward to it. It’ll be really a good time, hopefully.

Yesterday was my 20th birthday. I am really so mixed with emotions right now I really don’t know what to think or say about life. To be honest, I feel as though a part of me has died. I suppose there is a point in every person’s life when they leave behind childhood for good and progress onto the life of an adult. For me, this was the point of no return. My days of teenage recklessness are mostly over. They’ll appear every once-and-a-while, but I’ve hit the point where I know that it’s time to move on.

Looking back on my true teenage year, lets say 14- 19, what a huge period of growth and development. Just go back and think about what happened between grade 9 to your 20th birthday (if you’ve done so, if not just to the present); it’s just astonishing to think of all that has happened in that short period of 6 years. Girls (or boys), sex, money, music, spirituality, school, university, jobs, camps, booze, drugs, love, heartbreak, revenge, friendship, family, traveling. Looking back, everyday seemed to be a life changing experience.

Here is the issue for me: how do I quantify all of this? How to I express everything that has happened. If I try to, it almost moves me to tears of joy or tears of anger. How do I sum up the experience of being a Teenager? It’s beyond me I guess.

I’d like to really hear some feedback on this one. How do you sum up this time period?

Advent and the Royal Tennenbaum...

2006-12-05T10:08:00.000-05:00

So you all wanted a piece of the Gary, so here it is. It is now December 5th, which means tomorrow the Weinachtsmann is coming. It’s the same thing as Santa Claus except if you’re bad he beats you with sticks and only gives you coal. Sounds like the raw deal to me.
Today at one of my kindergartens (Neidergörsdorf), the ‘Santa Man’ came early for all of the kids and gave us all presents. I got a bottle of wine, which I’m looking forward to later on tonight. One of the kids was talking while Santa was giving out presents and then he yelled at her and said that she wouldn’t be getting anything for Christmas and she’ll most likely be beaten too. She was 3. The look on this kids face was like we just told her that her family was eaten by wolves. She didn’t cry, but she tried to so hard that she stopped breathing for a minute straight. I laughed. Haha, I wish we had Euro-Christmas events. In the Netherlands, if you’re bad Santa beats you with whips!
Other than that things are pretty good. Life is going on as it always has. November wasn’t the best month as the whole being away from home thing was getting a little annoying. I’ve figured that I live in the Manitoba of Germany. Lots of farms and once you grow up you leave, move to Winnipeg (Berlin), or become a farmer and marry young.
December has tonnes of stuff to do though. Christmas is everything to these guys. Everyday in a different village they have these cool outdoor ‘Christmas Markets’ and they give our free spiced wine and beer. You can buy all sorts of Christmas type things, trees and whatnot.
Plus my brother is coming in a week and we’re off to Prague for a while and then Krakow, Poland for Christmas. I think we might be going to either Hungary or Ukraine for New Years.
The only thing that we’re missing here is snow. Still hasn’t snowed yet. Soon enough I guess, then I’ll wish that it was warm again.

Stolz

2006-11-26T07:04:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, I am so thankful I come from a country like Canada. Hosers forever.

My poor legs....

2006-11-20T14:53:00.001-05:00

My poor freaking legs. I was finishing up my adults english class when I walked outside into the dark. I was walking pretty fast and then walked right into a huge slab of rock that was lying in the middle of the parking lot. Now why was there a huge rock in the middle of the parking lot? We might never know.

Anywho, my legs are not to pretty at the moment. I walked into that rock full-on. They tried to get me to a doctor, but I said I was okay. It just stings, is all.

47b865zt78,8uiu8989790pßü0öuikhgbgtfrvbrfedrt5f4zu7jiuji8zhgt66hg ---> face mash on the keyboard to help stop the pain.

Glaring Differences: Canada and Germany

2006-11-19T11:40:00.000-05:00

So, obviously, there are some differences in cultures between Cananda and Germany. Go figure. I just thought that I would go ahead and list a couple of my all-time favourites.

- The Hair. Oh lordy, the hair is something you have to see for yourself. So many mullets and no one cares. The horror...

- Diet. By this I meat the pork. I think all Germans would starve to death if there was ever some type of pig sickness. So many sausages...makes me a little sick just thinking about eatting another one.

-Hand Shaking. In Germany, especially in the east, you shake everyones hand. Always. All the time. Everytime you see them. I could crush rocks with my hands these days...

More to come, I forgot I need to make a phonecall.

Weekends

2006-11-18T07:26:00.000-05:00

I love weekends. I'm sure you'll all agree that weekends are pretty much the only reason to keep going during the week. This is the only 2 days of your week inwhich, I Gary Hallman, am the master of my time.

My thought lately have been drifting a lot towards Stouffville and to Canada. One thing I want to start is more interesting activities with my friends, on the change that I make it home alive that is. We're always doing crafts and whatnot in the Kindergartens and I figure that they're a heck of a lot more fun than sitting around watching movies all of the time.

I am really looking forward to my brother visiting in less than a month! Oh heck yea, the stories are sure to be amazing and the beer will flow like wine. Another good thing to look forward to, to say the least.

A night on the town

2006-11-17T14:16:00.000-05:00

Jüterbog can certainly suprise me with its European shic, even after all this time. Its interesting to see the same things during the night, it takes on a different aspect and a whole new light.

Keith and I enjoyed a night on the town tonight, most of which included a walk and a excellent supper of chinese food. I almost felt like I was back in Chinatown, Toronto. All that was missing was bad English, as opposed to bad German.

Its Friday and tomorrow I get to sleep in for the first time in a long while. Something I am lookig forward to immensly.

Speaking of which, I should get on that post hast.

Peace out.

What? Two nice days in a row?

2006-11-16T14:12:00.000-05:00

This is the second day of beautiful weather in a row. I'm expecting the end of the world any time now. I even got to spend most of the day playing soccer amoung other really interesting things.

We, Keith and I, had to spend a good chunk of our evening playing sports, so needless to say, I'm a little tired. Those of you who know me, know that I avoid physical exsertion like the plauge. Maybe not as much as I used to though, I do enjoy a good game of Fußball. Who doesn't?

We enjoyed the good weather by taking a night on the town. We went out to eat and had some excellent currywurst and pommes. I also had my first beer in about 3 weeks, which was delicious in every sense of the word.

Well, now the count down begins: one month until my 20th birthay. I have 30 days to enjoy the rest of my teenage years. Where has the time gone?

Even November can have its days...

2006-11-15T12:06:00.000-05:00

November in Germany is suppost to be one of the worst months of the year. This is something that I can personally attest to. So far this month has been crap. Plain and simple. The weather has been so nasty, somedays I don't want to step outside. Today was a nice and welcome change to the norm.

I took advantage of this nice sunny day to take a hike in the woods and do some thinking about a book I just read. This book being Hannible, the book proceeding Silence of the Lambs. I have to say that I was very intruiged up until the end, where it had possibly one of the worst endings ever.

-SPOILER-

Starling ends up with Dr. Lecter in a weird nympho-I eat people- relationship. I'm sorry, but what the hell man. Yes, the naratives were interesting and there was some excellent detail on some of the characters but this ended screwed it over. Starling having sex with Dr. Lecter is just wrong on so many levels and effectivly ruins the entire trilogy. It makes me wish I never read the damn thing.

-END SPOILER-

Anywho, other than that I've been working on a form in which I must reflect on the first 3 months of my experience. Part of me likes it and part of me wishes I could leave after six months and go to the West. Thats what I essentially summed up.

Well, I have to go start more reading so I can have something to reflect upon tomorrow.
Peace out.

Sometime we all get tired of running the Race..

2006-11-11T14:11:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, a person in my position has to wonder why we need these journeys of self-discovery. I often find my mind wandering to the ‘million dollar question’ of my whole experience here, that being why am I here? It is an interesting and tough question to be sure.

Here are some things that I have recently pondered over, as I now have ample time to think and mull things over. The first being about youth and life; I always feel that I’m living in the wrong manner. I’m talking about how we spend our youth.

One of the big worries is that I am wasting my time here and losing precious time to be at home in the Race. What is the Race you might ask? The Race of Life; get a good job, find a beautiful wife, have children, be a community leader, get rich, be happy at the fastest possible time. I often find myself almost panic stricken sometimes that I am losing a whole year of my life with very little to show for it. Sometimes I think that if I don’t keep running this race, I’ll never get the job, the girl, the security we all desire.

It’s almost as if I don’t keep running this race, then life as an adult (car, money, girl etc.) will never happen. Perhaps, if I wait too long this adult life will simply pass me by and I’ll have missed my chance at making my mark in the world. Then I sit back and remember that I’m 19 and I relax a little. I remember that even if the past two years have really not been the most productive, the act of living them has been so profound on who I am as a person, I don’t think I’ll ever be the same person I was before (even if I wanted to).

It’s little more than a month until my 20th birthday and I am not sure if I am looking forward to it or dreading it. To me it’s a physical sign that my days of carefree fooling around are coming to a close. Maybe, not fooling around will come to a close, but a mindset will be set to peace. Remembering high school puts this into the best perspective, back when we all were a little less jaded and a little more excited about what life had in store for us. Back when we all fought against George W. Bush and were positive that if we get enough people to come to our rallies, we could save the world. Back when the only think that mattered was getting out of town and surviving school long enough to make it to college. People say being näive is a bad thing, I’m really not so sure anymore. Ignorance is bliss.

I’ve come to the conclusion that Gary Hallman’s life has been anything but normal and boring, and for the most part it’s made me happy. So why want the normal life? At the time, these constant adventures of life sometimes seem like really horrible things; like almost getting killed with a machete, practically living with 5 year olds for a year, forcing myself into cultures where I don’t speak the language and don’t know the culture. However, looking back at every time I’ve forced myself into an uncomfortable situation that puts me out of my circle of comfort, I come out being a wiser person. Or at least I always have a funny story to tell people.

In my short 20 years I have seen and experience some life changing things. Hopefully, this trend will continue.

Intermenno All-Around Awesome Fun Type Event

2006-11-05T11:45:00.000-05:00

So its Sunday night, and I've enjoyed having the place to myself for a couple days. Last week was pretty intense, so its been quite nice to have a little bit of peace and quiet. Keith will be returning tomorrow from his 8 day trip to Barcelona and Paris, so this is my last night of solitude. Which, I have to say, has been okay but I'm ready for a little action again. Things can get pretty boring when you're by yourself. I went to bed yesterday at 6pm, because there was nothing else to do!

Last week was our Intermenno trainee event. Holy crap. That pretty much describes the whole event. It was like a whirl-wind of awesomeness in 5 days. My liver still hurts. I have yet to clean my appartment from the disaster, which is unfortunatly the cause of the growing, uh smell, in my room. I have about 5 cases of beer in my closet and about half a dozen wine bottles, not to mention an odd assortment of other things. Now hold on there folks, there were 12 of us all together, so really if you divide it up its not that bad.

We started off on Thursday with Rachel coming to Jüterbog. We went back to our place , ate good pasta, and then drank beers and went out to the flugplatz and talked about geek stuff and aliens. I love geeks.

The next day set us off on an adventure to Berlin to pick up all of the other folks. Of course, being the hungry guy that I am, we stopped for some delicious pizza and dunkelbier on the way. By far the best meal that I have had so far in Germany.

We met everyone at the trainstation and came back to our appartment. We then proceeded to grab lots of stuff and head out to the Russian racetrack so we could be a little louder. About 2 hours later, a little louder turned into screaming songs and such. That night will definetly be one of my favourtie memories of this experience. We came home at about 3am and I promptly went to sleep after grudgingly giving up most of my pillows.

The next morning we all woke up relatively alive and then ran to catch the train. Of course, I had to do 4 trips with the red car so we were almost late. We got the the HBF when, naturally, I was hungry. I decided that it would be a good time for everyone to eat, so we ate Dönners. Delicious.
With our bellies full, we went outside and saw Berlin in all of its glory and awesomeness. It we saw that it was awesome and we said it was good. At the end of this day we rested. Just kidding, we bought more beer. The events of that night included:

- a costume party were I was a monk
- a spooky tour through the communist base (they love hopscotch)
- an interesting party story I might discuse later on in life

The next morning we all came to the conclusion that so far we had 2 awesome days. That made the ratio of awesome days 2:0 or would it be 1:0? Doesn't matter. We let Sunday be a day of rest. Keith set out for his adventure and then the rest of us went to Jüterbog, ate dönners, and then moved on to say goodbye to half of our group. It was tearful. Then the rest of us went to the grocery store and bought more beer. And wine. And some other stuff.

That day we went back to the ruins and had a day time adventure. We drank bad beers and had some sugar water. It was here that I learned of my poor ability to judge time. Apparently, 5 minutes to me, is 30 to the rest of the world. Everything in my life makes sense now. That night we made pasta and then talked for a long time. The fab 5 will rule for all times. People who stay get richly rewarded. It was another premium moment of the Fest.

The next morning we all went to the train station to say goodbye to our fellow trainees. Josh and Mattias stayed and after we said our goodbyes to the gals, we went to Wittenburg for the Remermationstag celebration. It was amazing, we say olden days type people and then drank the most delicious honey mead. It was the best beer I have ever tasted. If I could only drink one thing again for the rest of my life, it would be mead. So good. We also ate some good goat/beef stuffed pockets? We finished the day with some good food and a movie. I went to bed early, Mattias drank the last of our beer and the slosh bucket. Oh Mattias.

Thats pretty much it. My fingers hurt.

The Real Deer Cleaver

2006-10-23T16:07:00.000-04:00

Back home my brother and I drive the crappiest little red Honda Civic. It was made in 1986, the same year that I was born. Now despite all of its downsides its been with my siblings through some pretty freaking good times.

My brother calls it the 'Deer Cleaver'. One night he was driving with a man I'll call Matt Jones. They were cuising along when Tim runs over something. Tim swears that it was a deer and that the car cut right through it. Jones claims that it was a clump of dirt.

The reason I mentioned this is that I have now moved on to a new red car in Altes Lager. Tonight I almost cleaved through, not one, but two deer. For real. Keith and I were coming back from our English teaching for adults lesson, when we almost smoked this one deer in the face and then almost hit another. It was awesome.

We ate dinner tonight at Jake and Dorothy's and then played Settlers. I thought I had the game in the bag and then Keith came out of nowhere and destroyed me. It was humiliating. I'll get my chance for revenge soon enough.

This weekend is Intermenno Trainees Altes Lager All Around Family Fun Time. So unbelievebly excited. I might not sleep until then.

Fridays

2006-10-20T18:00:00.000-04:00

So its Friday. Tonight I enjoyed a premium bottle of dry Italian white wine. Its was delicious. I have been trying to learn a little bit more about wine and such. Its a tad bit healthier that beer and not nearly as calorie heavy.

Today I took Keith to the ruins of the Russian base and we saw some interesting, yet slightly spooky, paintings of Soviet Russia. I took a piece of Stalins face of one of them. I have a little piece of history to take home now.

Other than that today was pretty simple and I am in a much better mood than yesterday. I got to talk to a lot of people from home today which was also nice. On the down side though, I found out that my grandpa has colon cancer. Thats not too good.

Well until next time. Peace out.

I only come in one flavour

2006-10-19T13:38:00.000-04:00

So today was a good day and a horrible day all mixed into one. Makes me almost not want to be here anymore. This is a lot harder than I expected. I suppose they can't all be good days, but the language barrier is really hurting me here.

So Sarah Jones and her friend Mark came to visit yesterday and we had a lot of fun walking around Berlin and seeing the sights and sounds. We did so much freaking walking! We certainly got a work out. It was really nice to see Sarah. She lives around the corner from me back in Stouffville. I guess you could say we grew up together.

We came back to Altes Lager and went out for a döner and a beer. We talked for a good while about things back home, things happenning in the world, people we know and people we knew. After the meal we slowly paced home and proptly went to bed. I was exhausted after all of the walking.

This morning came rather early and I decided instead of taking a shower that I should sleep in...until 7:40 (work starts at 8am). Needless to say, I ran out in yesterday's clothes and drove as fast as I could to Langenlispdorf. I was still about 10 minutes late, not that it mattered as this particular kindergarten is well liked and the people there were just happy that I came at all.

We had a good English lesson and then a coffee brake. I was told to leave early so that I could go back and see Sarah and Mark. I took them up on their generous offer. Later, people from the Diakonie would phone for me while I wasn't there. I got in a fair amount of trouble from Frau Förster. Really I can only think of one word : bullshit. They told me to leave and I get in trouble? People here can be so unbelievably unflexable. If anything doesn't go according to plan or if something changes they flip out and don't know what to do.

Olaf is apparently 'sehr sauer' because I didn't go to the Mennonitengemiende with him. The guy says to come when I want and that I don't need to come. I never made any plans to go with him this week and then because he can't phone me (my cellphone is broken and no one will help us fix it), he flips out. He waited for me to come at the train station, even though we never made contact in the past week and a half. He's really a nice guy, but again, does not have an ounce of flexability. I mean, the guy acts like I hit him in the face with a hammer everytime I phone a day late.

Exp.

'Gary! Why didn't you phone me yesterday?'
' Sorry, I forgot'
' But you said that you would phone me yesterday!'
' I know, but I forgot. Sorry.'
'I don't understand!' (Head explodes)

I don't know, I suppose there is a large part of the blame to be put on myself. I don't exactly say what I am going to do. I guess this is the real world now, no one to make excuses for you. Just you, your actions and your resposibilities. Its hard because I really am such a layed back person. If someone doesn't phone me about something important or critical, like directions to my workplace, I would get upset like any other guy. However, if someone didn't phone me to ask directions to youth group, I'd just as soon think that they're not coming and move on. When I say that I'll talk to someone about a subject here, they think in the next 24 hours. I mean in the next week, as thats what I'm used to in Canada. Understanding different cultures through trial and error is not exactly how I wanted to learn.

I guess at the end of all this ranting I have figured out at least one thing: something is going to need to change. Be that myself or my current lifestyle, because at the rate I'm going I'm going to run out of steam long before my 9 months of Germany is finished. I'm leanning towards myself becoming a little more organized, but that really won't change the everyday boredoms. It will certainly help things to run a little more smoothly though. I'm still going through major culture shock right now.

On a lighter note, I made a decision with a friend that we are going to buy both a chocolate lab and a golden retreaver. I'm thinking that I might replace the later with something with a bit more, shall we say, awesomeness? I'm thinking maybe something with teeth or good hearing. You know, something that will be useful. So that way I can impress people with my amazing dog that does neat things other that be 'nice'.

ps. If any other trainees ever find this, what did you do to pass the time?

Boars, Yaks and Ostriches

2006-10-15T13:39:00.000-04:00

So today Keith and I went to go visit a co-worker, Ina Albers, and her family. I have to say it was the most interesting think that I've done in a while. Her husband was really nice and they live in a small village called Meckezdorf.

We went on a walk with their small children and on the way we went to a small farm with wild boars. Now I have lately become, shall we say, completely and udderly obsessed by these wonder beats. I walk in the woods everyday in hopes of seeing one. I've seen lots of deer so far, but who the hell wants to see deer? The answer? No one. The eat grass, run fast and are generally not all that awe inspiring. Sometimes they have cool horns. Boars have tusks, how could you ever really compete with that?

After that wonderful moment that only fulled by boar lust, we went to an osterich farm. Also awesome. I suggest looking here at http://www.ostriches.org/ if you want to learn more about these truely amazing animals. Who knew that Germany was such an amazingly diverse place? They also had yaks and pot-bellied pigs. Now, I think that I'm man enough to say when something is 'cute' and I got to say, those pigs were damn cute.

I find that each day in Germany brings me a little closer to feeling at home here. I really like the area I live in, that being Neidergörsdorf, but I find that Altes Lager is just so rediculously depressing. There is something about this place that just sucks creativity and happiness out of you. And people wonder why no one wants to live here! Hello! Its a freaking military bunker! How much more depressing to you want it? Every other village here is small, happy looking, and actually has at least some degree of community bonding. If it were a choice between living in a small dorf, Berlin or Altes Lager, I wouldn't even give it a second thought.

All that being said, I still like it here but I wish now that I had something more. There is nothing to get involved with here except for the Church-which is good, but I have a good church group back home. I wanted more of a real German community to try and fit into. Guess I'll have to look a little harder, or perhaps a little deeper.

Sitting with the Russians

2006-10-13T10:17:00.000-04:00

So I'm sitting here right now with a bunch of russian guys. They all seem like moderatly nice people. They like to sing about Keith and I. I'm currently showing them a map about Canada. We went to this pretty amazing simming pool last night close to the Polish border. It took forever to get there. I do have to say though that it was pretty freaking awesome, German pools are very high-tech and modern with waterfalls, wavepools and the hold deal. Beats our typical pools: cold and square.
I got the day off today which is pretty nice. I used it to clean up the place a bit in anticipation of my friends who are coming to visit on monday. I am definitly looking forward to that. Should be a good time.
October is still running by and things are seeming to get into a pretty sonsistant grove now. I feel like Altes Lager is become a little more like home. Except I don't have nearly enough cool things to do or english books to read.
Peace out for now, I smell cake.

Steve Irwin

2006-10-07T08:09:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I've been out of the loop for a while. I cannot full understand German media at this point, so it was relatively recent that I learned of the death of Steve Irwin.

I don't think I've been this sad to see a celebrity die since Princess Diana. Its just plain horrible. He seem to be a man full of moral fibre and good standing. He wasn't an academic or perfect, just a person who wanted to share his views with the rest of the world.

I still remember watching some of this shows and thinking how awesome they where. He lived a life for a cause and that I can respect. Stabbed by a Stingray is a horrible way to go, but it seems almost fitting in a way.

R.I.P Steve
1962-2006

October

2006-10-06T13:24:00.000-04:00

Well friends, we see that we have once again found ourselves in the month of October. This being the best month of the year I am quite happy. Its Fall and when its not raining the weather is close to perfect. The best time to be in Germany I think.

This past little while has been pretty busy, yet relaxing enough. On the 3rd of October it was Germany's Reunification Day. A good day to say the least. The stories I could tell about life before the Wall came down, they could fill a whole other blog! The secret police, the life, the Wall...there is a lot of pain still very evident in East Germany. Its not something that people easily forget.

Keith and I went to Berlin with the youth group too. It was pretty fun, we got a paid trip to Berlin and a free McDonalds lunch out of it, so it was okay (even if it was raining the whole time). It was pretty neat to hang out with people roughly my own age, even if they are crazy Russian kids.

Two things I am excited for:

1) My friend and neighbour from Stouffville, Sarah Jones is coming to visit me in 10 days! Woohoo! I miss Canadian friends. There is so much here that all of my friends from back home would love. Some times I wish they were here, then Altes Lager would be a bit more interesting I think. Sarah and her friend are coming and it looks like its going to be an awesome time.

2) I phoned my brother Tim today. That was wicked, he's studying Human rights in Norway. We're planning a trip this Christmas to Switzerland, Poland, Chek Rep. (spl?), and of course, Ukraine. It looks to be a most premium trip!

Prost,
Gary

Urlaub! Huzzah!

2006-10-02T14:17:00.000-04:00

So today is part of the long weekend. Tomorrow is Germany's Reunification Day, which is when East and West Germany offically reunited back in the 90's. Fun stuff indead! Most of this weekend has been spent chilling an relaxing.

On Saturday, Keith and I had to work with the Jugendmobile at this kids fair. It would have been a total waste of time had there not been an archry tent set up. I've been wanting to shoot a bow so badly for some reason. I got my wish and it was very satisfying.

Today, I thought that I was supposed to work but I guess I wasn't as no one was at both of the kindergartens. So I went grocery shopping instead. I got a nice little supply of apple juice that should last me for some time. I also bought some figs as I was having a conversation with someone yesterday about this odd little fruit when I realized that I had never tried one. I did and I have to say that it was about a 7/10. Not amazing, but I can see how people would like it. Lots of seeds.

After that I went for a very long bike ride with Keith. We ended up going at least 30k which was very tiring to say the least. We stopped on the way home for some good ol' fashioned curry wurst mit pommes, and a nice cold one. It hit all sorts of spots. After that we pretty much have spent the rest of the day watching odd German music videos. I seem to be developing a strong addiction to walking deutsch MTV...its very disturbing.

Its nice to get a little time off. I've been enjoying the excellent Fall weather here and the hilarious Oktoberfest celebrations. Pretty much just a beer tent with odd food stands and dangerous German carnies. Lots of interesting vendors too.

Here is a picture of some figs:

Meckesheim and then back to life in Altes Lager

2006-09-28T13:28:00.001-04:00

Well Mechesheim was pretty much a blast. Keith and I did not make our first train so we ended up buying a new ticket. It really was not all that pleasent of an experience but the train ride through Bavaria almost made up for it.

I have to say that southern Germany is much more....awesome than the north. Don't get me wrong, I love being in the North and being an East side boy, but it gets a little lonely out here! The green hills and awesome people in the south seemed to suit me just as good though!

We got to the conference in one piece and then we met some new committee members from Switzerland, like Debbie, and some old ones from Germany, like Dora and Corola. It was awesome getting to see everyone again and have some fairly deep english conversations. We played some games and swapped stories about our first couple weeks in Europa.

The next day we went to Heidelberg, which was a-freaking-mazing. I will never forget it. We went to the castle and then to the old town. It was very 'cute'. I hate that word, but it fits well in this situation.

All in all, a good time was had by everyone. I'm already looking forward to the end of next month when everyone is coming from Swizerland, the Netherlands, and Germany. Should be awesome.

Today in kindergarten, I was the hero because I found a sleeping hedgehog on our walk around the village. We also looked at baby cows and horses and learned the different types of fruit in English. I love days like today.

Once I got home I took a nice 3 hour hike through the forest and then had a 4 hour nap. Just plain cool.